Chibi Chaos
by Cruel Destiny
Summary: Heero wakes up one morning to find something horribly wrong... but the others can help him in his predicament right? Wrong! Why? Read and find out, lah! RR please! chapter 20 :D
1. Uh Oh

Heero wandered downstairs on morning. No particular morning- just a morning. He yawned as he entered the kitchen

"Aaaaaahhhhh!" he yelled as he slipped on some kind of liquid on the floor. He quickly grabbed onto the table for support. Unfortunately, all he got was a handful of tablecloth and seconds later, everything that had been on the table came crashing onto the tiled surface, including Relena's crystal vase. His head hit the floor and he got knocked out cold.

He woke up, still on the kitchen floor, in a pool of milk. 

"My pyjamas are drenched!" he sat up and began to squeeze dry his shirt. "Why is all this milk here anyway? I would've thought that the minute it spilt, Quatre would have already mopped it up!" 

"Hee hee hee"

Heero heard a giggle above him. He slowly picked himself up to see who was there. He carefully drew the gun, which he somehow managed to keep hidden in his shirt pocket…

"Ha!" he whipped out his gun and pointed it around. Strange- no one. Suddenly he was tackled down by someone or something. He swung around to face…

"What the…?!?!?!?!" he gasped. There at his feet, was a mischievously grinning 5- year old.

"Wait a minute…" he stared into her wide, innocent blue eyes and suddenly started backing away. "Oh my…!" he yelled, slowly backing towards the door. She started crying in a high pitched wail.

"Big boy scary!!!!" she wailed. 

"No! I'm not scary!" Heero tried hurriedly to calm her down. Suddenly he bumped into something else in the doorway.

"Bad big boy! You made Relena cry!"

Heero turned around to face a Chinese toddler with a short ponytail, glaring at him.

"It's okay," the Chinese boy ran over to the girl to comfort, "that big boy is mean and bad!"

"Thank you, Wufei," the girl sniffed

"Wufei?" Heero asked weakly before fainting again

"Big boy bouncy! Big boy bouncy!" 

Heero woke up, drenched once again in the same puddle of milk. He became aware of someone jumping on his stomach.

"Get off!" he growled, sitting up.

"Uh oh! Big boy mad!"

"Lil bugger! Come back here!" Heero caught the culprit by his collar. "What is your name?"

"My name?" the little boy asked. Then Heero noticed he had a rather long plait.

"Wait- don't tell me! Your name is Duo right?"

"Big boy smart!" Duo giggled

"What the…" Heero looked around to see a small blonde boy, trying to use the tablecloth to wipe up the milk, Wufei was still comforting Relena and a small boy with huge brown bangs, was leaning against a chair.

"Say what?!?!" Heero yelled

"Hello," the small blonde boy stopped his futile wiping and extended a small chubby hand, "I am Quatre Raberba Winner"

Heero awkwardly shook his hand, feeling rather faint.

"That is Chang Wufei over there, comforting Relena Peacecraft because you scared her. That is not a nice thing to do mister!" baby Quatre told him.

"Duo, where are you going?" Heero asked, hooking him by his collar again. He stood up and everyone crowded around him. They only went up to his knees, dammit. What pitiful reminders of what his friends once were. He felt cold and suddenly remembered that he had been drenched in milk twice.

"I'll…I'll be back," Heero said, "just wait here and don't touch anything!"

He ran upstairs to change. He looked at himself in the mirror carefully. Was he hallucinating? Last time he checked he was sane. Then he pinched himself.

"Shit!" he hopped around for a few minutes, swearing all sorts of profanities, in an effort to shake the pain off. "Well, I'm not dreaming…" he shook his head and dressed up. He came downstairs to find only four babies in the kitchen.

"Where the hell is Duo?" Heero yelled

"He was hungry, so he went outside to eat," Relena pointed to the open kitchen window and the wooden chair right beneath it.

"Outside? Oh no!" Heero rushed outside to find a very dirt-faced Duo sitting next to a hole, his hands covered with dirt and he was slurping up…

"Worms! Duo Maxwell!" Heero lifted Duo up and away from the hole and brought him inside. Heero plonked him in the kitchen sink and began to scrub him from head to foot. After they were done, Heero had bruises all over his arms. Duo, it seemed, did not like to take baths and kicked a lot when he was forced to take one.

"Okay everyone, nap time!" Heero told them hoping for at least 5 minutes of peace.

"No! Hi- 5 is on!" Duo yelled

Duo yelled again. "I wanna watch Hi- 5!"

"Yeah!" they were all clamoring around him.

"Ok, fine!" Heero yelled finally. "You can watch your bloody Hi- 5! Just stop annoying me!"

He stalked out into the living room in a huff. They looked at each other and shrugged, following him. 

Heero lay on the couch as Hi- 5 came on. In front of him, on the carpet were the five babies all lined up in a row, listening and singing to the people on screen. They, in Heero's opinion, could not sing for shit (sorry all you people out there who like Hi- 5). He sat there and watched as the blonde guy who called himself Nathan, pretended to drive an obviously fake cardboard boat. He snorted. How gullible did they think these kids were?

"Wow, I want a boat just like that!" Wufei whispered

"Look at the pretty, pretty mermaid!" Relena giggled at one of the female band members who was dressed up in a fake sequin outfit

.

"Finally! It's over!" Heero sighed, switching off the TV. "Now will you go take a nap?"

He had the Hi- 5 theme song playing over and over in his head and he was very annoyed to say the least. Five in the air, let's do it together…

"Mr. Heero- I'm thirsty!" Relena whined

"Then go get your own milk!" Heero growled

"But I can't!"

"Why not?"

"Cos then I'll spill the milk again," Relena giggled

"Okay fine!" Heero sighed. "I'll get you your damn milk"

He opened the fridge and poured her a cup of milk.

"No, no, no, no!" Relena screamed. "It's sposed to be in a bottle and its sposed to be warm!"

"Grrrr…" Heero growled as he went back into the kitchen to change the milk

"There," Heero finally figured out how to screw and unscrew the lids of baby bottles, having never done it before. He was carrying the milk outside to Relena when he heard a giggle followed by,

"Uh oh- Doo doo did a boo boo!"

He rushed out into the kitchen to see a grinning but embarrassed Duo standing over a wet patch on the carpet, his pants stained.

"Aargh!" Heero yelled in frustration. "Duo!"

He slung Duo over his shoulder, like a potato sack and carried him upstairs to change his clothes. They came down 5 minutes later, Duo wearing a florescent pink t-shirt and loving it.

"Look at my new t-shirt!" Duo squealed.

"That's very nice Duo," Heero said between clenched teeth, "now sit down while I call the carpet cleaners!"

Duo meekly obeyed his orders because Heero looked so formidable.

"Okay, we're going to have to clear out of here because the carpet cleaners do not need disturbances!" Heero told them after hanging up the phone. "Which means that I have to take you out!" he grumbled at the thought.

"Yay!" they all cheered.

10 minutes later as they left the house, Duo went suddenly hyperactive.

"Vvvvvvvvrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm," he ran around in circles, arms extended, pretending to be an aeroplane.

"Hey, get back here you!" Heero caught Duo's braid as he began to run away. "I think I better chain you to me!" he produced a pair of handcuffs and cuffed him and baby Duo together.

"Look!" Duo lifted his arm up proudly, "I got attested!" 

"You got arrested you mean," Heero growled, "and you didn't get arrested, you're just chained to me cos you're a naughty little boy!"

"I am Duo Maxwell and I am…" he paused to count his age on his fingers, "…5 years old!" he proudly held up 5 stubby little fingers as the automatic glass doors of the shopping mall slid open for them to enter.

"I am 5 too," Relena told him

"Me too," Wufei added

"I am 5 years old," Quatre said

"What about him- Trowa?"

"He's bigger than the rest of us," Relena told him, "he's 6!"

"How old are you Mr. Heero?" Wufei asked

"16," he growled. He noticed he was getting a lot of stares from passers-by. He had five kids towing around with him, one chained to his wrist with handcuffs.

"Candy Store!" Relena yelled

"Candy Store!" the rest followed her charge, except of course for Duo, who tried but didn't really succeed. Heero made his way into the candy store. All of them came to the counter, their little arms full of lollies.

"No!" Heero yelled. "I can't pay for all that! You may get one lollipop each!"

"One?!" Relena exclaimed

"Injushtish," Wufei muttered

"One!"

"Okay, fine!"

They each chose their desired flavor for their lollipop.

"What do you want Trowa?" Heero asked, glaring at the miniature sized Gundam pilot. Trowa said nothing but somersaulted onto the counter and picked one out for himself.

"My, you have one little talented acrobat on your hands, sir," the shop keeper commented, trying to make pleasant conversation

"Whatever," Heero shrugged, "now, you've got your lollies- let's go!" he herded the kids out of the store after paying. Spotting a nearby bench, he quickly walked to it and sat down, Quatre, Trowa, Relena and Wufei following suit. Duo, being chained to Heero, had no real choice but to sit next to him and watched in awe as Heero miraculously conjured up his laptop from nowhere and began to type furiously. Getting r. J online, he started yelling without really thinking of how crazy he would look, sitting on a bench in the shopping mall, and shouting into a laptop

"Dr J! What the hell is happening?" he practically yelled at the image of Dr J on screen.

"Oh hello Heero, how are things?" Dr J asked as if everything was just fine and dandy.

"Dr. J," he said through clenched teeth, "my Saturday has been suddenly occupied with these five little…kids!" At this point, Duo stuck his head in.

"Hello old man!" he grinned, his bright orange lollipop sticking halfway out of his mouth.

"Hello Duo," Dr J smiled at Duo before Heero pushed his head out of the way.

"Old man," Heero growled, losing patience, "I want an explanation, now!"

"Okay, okay, "Dr J sighed, "well Heero, you see… I have been working on an invention of mine. It reverses the life cycle process, meaning it could probably raise the dead, I haven't really tried yet…"

"Get to the point," Heero growled impatiently

"All right, well the ray was originally aimed to a confined area i.e. my backyard, but I must've accidentally increased the frequency somehow in your direction and that's why you're probably landed with 5 chibi versions of your former comrades… and was Duo wearing a pink t-shirt?"

"Yes," Heero replied testily

"How interesting… it appears that I have managed to reverse their brain waves as well… truly fascinating…"

"Hey! Now is no time for scientific observations! How long am I stuck with them like this?"

"Until I can get an antidote prepared," Dr J replied simply

"And how long will that be?" Heero asked impatiently

"A good 3 months at least!" Dr J smiled pleasantly before ending the transmission.

"Dammit!" Heero slammed down the laptop screen so hard, he almost broke it off. He became aware of people around him giving him weird stares. Not really giving a damn, he stood up, dragging Duo along and started walking away. The other four looked at each other, shrugged and ran after him as fast as their tiny legs could carry them.

"Uncle Heero! Uncle Heero!" Duo pulled Heero's singlet with his small hand that was cuffed to Heero's, as they browsed in the hardware store later because Heero needed parts for his laptop.

"What is it Duo?" Heero asked roughly

"I dipped my finger into this stuff," Duo pointed to an open tube of Super- Glue, "and I put it up my nose to see what it smells like and now I can't get my finger out!" Duo complained, giving Heero a little demonstration.

Heero sighed. This was going to be a very long 3 months

A.N. Tell me if I should write more cos it's just one of those things I started when I was bored…


	2. A Trip to the Doctor's Office

A.N. Just for future reference (ie. later in this chapter…) I don't think there's any such thing as a nose guard but oh well… =)… oh and and is me butting in

Heero waited outside the doctor's office with the four other chibis. Duo was inside, seeing Dr. Sally Po about his little…problem…

"Duo, how did you get your finger to stick up your nose and stay there like that?" Dr. Po asked patiently for the third time.

"Ooh… what this?" Duo picked up a hypodermic syringe from the medical tool kit on the trolley beside the examining bed. "Hehehe," he giggled after examining it for a while, "This thing funny!"

"Duo! Put it down! It's dangerous!" Dr. Po warned him and tried to snatch it off him.

"Nope," Duo swung it out of her reach, "you didn't say the magic word…" 

"Please?" Sally asked

"Haha, wrong!" Duo laughed. "It was abracadabra!" He threw the syringe across the room like a javelin, narrowly missing Dr. Po's head and made contact with the groin area of a 3D plastic model of the human anatomy and stuck there. ouch?

"Duo," Dr. Po asked him again testily, "how did you get your finger stuck in your nose? If you don't tell me, I'll bring Heero in here and you can tell him instead of me!" She found it amazing that he could still cause so much mischief with just one hand, the other being stuck up his nose. He seemed to have a great skill for it

Duo, who was playing with the light switch on the x-ray display screen, suddenly stopped, finger halfway pressing it on again.

"Okay, okay- no need to get so mean!" Duo squealed. "I put some funny stuff that looked like toothpaste on my finger and I wanna na smell it cos it looked like it would smell like strawberry and I love strawberries! Duo you have any strawberry lollipops?"

"No, Duo we don't have any strawberry lollipops," Dr. Po sighed, getting a little exasperated. There was a reason Duo was chosen to be a Gundam pilot and she could see it now. If the enemy interrogator didn't die of annoyance and/or exasperation first, they'd probably release him because they wouldn't bother wasting their time on someone so stupid. But what could she do? It was her job. Dammit, acting stupid was his bloody God-given talent or something.

"And…?" Dr. Po prompted him

"Well, I couldn't smell it properly so I put it right in my nose where all the smell guys work, so I could smell it better," Duo finished cheerfully, with a slight nasal accent.

"Hmmm…" Dr. Po puzzled over the situation. How to extract his middle finger from his nostril without taking half his nose off as well as the middle finger…

"Miss," he tugged at her uniform with his free hand, "miss, my nose is itchy," he squealed, "Ah…ah…ah…ATCHOO!" He let out an almighty sneeze, which propelled him backwards because all the pressure of the sneeze was being exerted out of one nostril instead of two. He also let fly a lot of mucus that was jammed in the back of his nose, out onto almost all of her surgical tools.

"Duo are you all right?" Dr. Po asked. "Dammit! Now I'm going to have to sterilise all my tools again!" she raised her voice to a level that was almost a yell as she noticed the yellow goo dripping off her precious instruments pretty disgusting sight, I know Duo sat up and showed her his snot-covered finger proudly

"Looksies! My finger's all better now!" he laughed

"Uggh… that's very…nice…" Dr. Po wrinkled her nose in disgust and handed the toddler a tissue to clean his middle finger up with.

Five minutes later, Duo strutted out of the surgery with his middle finger bandaged and a little nose guard refer to A.N. which had wire mesh covering his nostrils, but still allowed him to breathe, fitted onto his face to prevent and future "accidents".

"See, look, look!" Duo boasted, sticking up his bandaged middle finger for all to see. "Me special!"

"Waa!" Relena began to wail and hid behind Heero's legs. "He's sticking up his rude finger at me!"

Somewhere from behind them, they overheard a rather loud remark from one of the people waiting for consultation. "How terribly rude! I hope his father disciplines him good and proper!" 

Heero gritted his teeth together in frustration "Duo, put that finger down!" he hissed. "It's offensive to the public"

"But Uncle Heero, I can't put it down! Dr. Po- po says my finger's brokey and I have to wear a cast so I can't put this finger down!" Duo laughed.

"Maxwell, you look like a stupid baka pig with that wire thing attached to your face," Wufei told him haughtily

"Well you're just jealous, you stupid little poo- poo!" Duo stuck his tongue out at Wufei and turned his back on him. Wow, Heero thought, even in childhood they carry out their enmity… 

"Grrr…" Heero's eyebrow twitched dangerously but he decided not to say or do anything for the sake of keeping the public peace. "Come on," he finally said through clenched teeth. "Let's go!"

"Nuh- uh," Sally stopped them, "wait"

"What is it now?" Heero turned around with a look on his face that was as close to pained as he could achieve.

"Yoink," Sally quickly snatched chibi Wufei from Heero's clutches. "This little dragon stays with me," she declared, a twinkle in her eye. "I don't exactly trust him with you," she raised an eyebrow. "And," she continued, "I believe you own me some money for my professional consultation!" she held out her palm expectantly

"Professional consultation my ass- the only think you managed to get Duo to do was stick up his rude finger!" Heero snapped

"Ooh, aren't we moody today?" Sally teased. "Is it your time of month or what?"

Heero death-glared her.

"Okay, okay, I'll drop it… but you ARE meant to pay me you know… the law is the law, I didn't write 'em"

"All right!" Heero practically yelled and roughly handed her his American Express Card. She ran it through the credit card machine but got an error beep.

"Uh oh," Sally informed Heero, "it seems you've maxed out on your credit card again, Heero. Were you buying spare and update parts for your laptop again?"

"No!" Heero protested. "How can I be out of credit? I expanded my credit limit to $10, 000 just last wee-," he stopped mid-sentence as he suddenly realized where all his $10, 000 credit had gone. And the most convenient thing was, he could sum it all up in one word- "Relena," he growled. His eyebrow twitching furiously again, he shoved a $100 note into Sally's hand, snatched back his American Express and walked out, the other toddlers having no real choice but to tag along. As he stormed out into the street, Heero thought to himself, "Mental note to self- after this is over, kill Relena" 

A.N. Hey! What did you ppl think of that? Probably not as good as the first chapter, but oh well, shit happens, what can we do about it? ^^ Well I hope you enjoyed reading it anyway…


	3. Just a Lil Inbetweener Note

Heya ppl! This is Cruel Destiny here. this story was started by me when I was really bored and ppl have asked me to continue. but I seriously don't think I will if I don't get at least 3- 5 more reviews because I wanna know if this story is really worth me spending my time on. okay?  
  
Thank you!  
  
~ Cruel Destiny 


	4. On the Way Home

A.N. Hey! Well I got the reviews I demanded lol… damn! Should've asked for more! =P… oh well enjoy…and like the previous (real) chapter and is me butting in ^^

Chapter 3 (well technically Chapter 4 but you know… lol)

"Keep the public peace, keep the public peace," Heero muttered to himself through clenched teeth as they walked down the main road, Duo with his middle finger stuck up, Relena with her arms full of Osh- Kosh B'gosh labeled clothes which she SOMEHOW persuaded Heero to buy for her. Stupid manipulative, persuasive little bitch… think nice thoughts Heero, NICE thoughts… it's the only thing you can do to stop yourself from pulling out your gun and blasting their puny little heads halfway to…. NICE thoughts, nice thoughts…thank goodness Wufei's with Sally… 

"Hrmm…. I wonder what Sally's doing with Wufei right now"

"Wufei, can you come and help me here?" Sally called to Wufei as she heaved a heavy box of new surgical tools to replace the ones that Duo sneezed all over. Of course she could just sterilize them again but she had since learned that anything that came out of Duo's nose was probably as toxic as what seeped out of his…

"Injushtish, onna," Wufei muttered, interrupting her thoughts. "Why do I have to do all the hard work around here?"

"Because I'm weak and you're strong," Sally told him, playing on his main weakness-his pride.

"Damn right I am, and don't you forget it," Wufei told her haughtily.

"Good boy, now just put that box over there by the table and what about you cook me lunch and we'll see if you can cook or not," Sally instructed him, adding the last part slyly for the free, effortless meal. Since she had a 5- year old Chinese warrior on her hands, she might as well make good use of him right?

"Baka onna, can't you cook?" Wufei snapped as he set the box down in the designated spot

"I could but I don't know if you can," Sally taunted him, "but if you can't I'll just cook lunch for both of us," she said craftily, reaching into the cupboard underneath the sink for the big wok.

"Gimme that!" chibi Wufei snatched the wok off Sally and started up a fire on the gas stove.

"Mmm, whatever you say Wufei," Sally settled comfortably into her chair and opened her medical magazine for some leisure reading while Wufei cooked up a storm.

"Think nice thoughts Yuy, nice thoughts…" Heero muttered to himself again through clenched teeth as Relena entered yet another clothes shop, "keep the public peace, keep the public peace…" he told himself as his hand twitched dangerously to whip out his gun 

Quatre looked up at him and silently handed him a brown paper bag, which he somehow got possession of.

"What is this for?" Heero growled to the tiny blonde Arabian. "For me to throw up in, or to control my hyperventilation?" he asked, even though he knew the tiny toddler probably wouldn't even know what hyperventilation was.

Quatre shrugged. "I don't know, whichever one you feel like doing right at the moment." 

Just then a sleek black limo pulled up on the curb beside them.

"Hey! Big black car! Someone died!" Duo giggled, and pointed, yes, with his middle finger at the black car.

"Duo-chan!" Relena scolded. "That's an awful thing to say! No one should have to die if pacisifism worked!" yes, "pacifism" is meant to be spelt wrong to emphasize her pronunciation problem at that age… thank you ^^

Heero rolled his eyes. Still crapping on about useless shit like pacifism. The door slowly opened and a woman with long, pale, blonde hair, clad in a dark blue business suit stepped out of the car. Heero suddenly went pale as he saw her face and turned to Quatre.

"Quatre," he asked quickly, "you wouldn't happen to have another paper bag on you, would you?" 

"No, why?" Quatre asked

"Because," Heero growled, "I can't hyperventilate and throw up in the same bag, now can I?"

"Who is that?" Quatre turned around to face none other than…

"Dorothy Catalonea," she extended a hand to Heero. "I trust you haven't forgotten me Heero Yuy?"

"No… of course not," Heero didn't return the handshake but clenched the paper bag tightly with both hands

"Oh, I'm so glad!" Dorothy clapped her hands together in delight. "I was passing by when I saw you walking by with these adorable children!"

"Yeah…."

"Oh my dear! Is that you Miss Relena?" Dorothy exclaimed with joy as she spotted the tiny blonde haired toddler, barely visible behind all of her Osh Kosh B'gosh bags.

"EEK!" Relena squealed and ducked behind Heero's legs again. "Scary eyebrows!" she squealed.

"Oh, how cute! She remembers me!" Dorothy noted happily. Heero stared at her strangely. Was there something wrong with Dorothy today? 

"Do you need a lift somewhere? I'm on my way to an ESUN meeting to see if there's any more fighting left in the world for me to enjoy," Dorothy told them

"Yeah- get us to Quatre's house," Heero growled. Dorothy's loud rambling, not to mention Duo's finger and Relena's load of Osh Kosh B'gosh clothes was drawing a lot off unwanted attention from the public. Not to mention Duo's fluro pink t-shirt.

"Step right in," Dorothy opened the limo door for them to go in. Well it turned out, that in her "good" and "kind" heart, Dorothy had picked up more than a couple of other people along the way, so there were only four free seats while there were five of them altogether. After a lot of struggling and tussling around, Duo was up front beside the driver, who was none other than Pagan, Quatre and Trowa were sitting up the back and Relena was happily stationed on Heero's lap. Stupid manipulative bitch… she's just taking advantage of the situation… looking so innocent and pure… why I ought to… nice thoughts, Heero, NICE thoughts…

"HEERO YUY! What have you done to my sister?!" a very familiar voice resounded loudly in Heero's ear, almost deafening him.

'Uh oh…' Heero thought as he turned around to face a very pissed off Milliardo Peacecraft sitting next to him.

"Wow Wufei, that was a very good meal!" Sally leaned back in her chair and rubbed her stomach, satisfied.

"That's because I'm good at cooking," Wufei boasted as he cleared the dishes from the table and stacked them in the sink. "Now you onna has to wash up because I cooked and I sit down and relax"

He sat down cross-legged on the sofa in meditation. Sally couldn't help but smile- he's so cute. She rolled up her sleeves and set to work- she was due back at the surgery in fifteen minutes.

"Wufei, I'm finished- we have to get back to the surgery," Sally called as she grabbed her coat and bag. "Wufei?" she asked when she was met with silence. She walked into the lounge room to find him curled up on the couch, his thumb in his mouth, asleep.

"Yeah, maybe she isn't so bad like this," Milliardo mused, studying the chibi form of his sister as Pagan pulled up outside Quatre's mansion. "She's actually kinda cute…"

"Here," Heero quickly thrust her into Milliardo's lap, "you take her."

"Huh?" Milliardo looked at her, surprised for a moment. "No! Wait Yuy! Get back here!"

"Nooooo…" Relena howled as Heero quickly herded the other chibis out and slammed the door behind him. The car began to pull away from the house and joined the main road traffic. "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeero!"

"Ugh…" Heero shuddered as they made their way into the house

A.N~ I dunno how funny you thought this chapter was…. But pls review and tell me lol… =P  
Hehehe… sorry if this chapter wasn't as funny as the other 2 (anyone who thought the inbetweener note was funny must be extremely sad lol) but it'll pick up, okay? =) Oh and did you notice that Trowa hasn't said anything in the whole fanfic yet? Hahaha, I'll have to give him a speech part in the next chapter…


	5. Fun In The Kitchen

A.N~ Okay, I promised Trowa a speaking part in this chapter, so we'll see how it goes…and you should know the drill by now with these things …

Chapter 4- Some Fun In The Kitchen

"Uncle Heero!" Duo's annoying voice resounded through the long hallways of Quatre's expansive mansion no it is not a spelling error, it is meant to say expansive, just like I put it… if you don't know what it means, look it up in the ff.net dictionary- Ctrl + D is it? Can't remember lol... anyway, on with the story…, looking for Heero. Heero groaned. He was lying on his bed with an enormous headache and wet cloth positioned on his forehead to hopefully soothe the pain. He was trying to get some rest after hours on end of the Wiggles marathon with Duo and Quatre. Now he was seeing purple dinosaurs dance across the sky. He closed his eyes and almost drifted off to sleep. "Uncle Heero!"

"What is it?" Heero growled. Chibi Duo toddled into the room with nose guard, finger cast, fluro pink t-shirt and all… the sight of him did not help Heero's headache any. "What do you want Duo?"

"Me hungry," Duo pointed at his stomach

"So, what do you want me to do about it?" Heero snapped. "Go get yourself something to eat!"

"But worms taste boring after awhile and Dr. Po says that it wasn't good for me," Duo giggled. Heero sighed in exasperation and closed his eyes again in an effort to make Duo go away. No such luck…

"Uncle Heero! Uncle Heero! Wake up!" Duo rushed over to the bed and started jumping on Heero's stomach again.

"Oof! Get off you stupid baka!" Heero violently pushed Duo off the bed. Duo fell backwards off the bed and would have hit the ground were it not for a nimble little acrobat boy going by the name of…

"Trowa! You saved me! Thank you, my bestest best friend!" Duo squealed as he still sat in Trowa's outstretched arms and squeezed him around the neck so tightly that Heero could almost see Trowa's face changing colour. Trowa let Duo drop to the floor and walked over to where Heero was lying.

"You should provide food for us- if we died, you would be held responsible," Trowa stated simply yay! Trowa said something finally! 

Dammit, Heero thought, I would just love it if you guys would just drop dead right now! It would at least give me a moment to enjoy the peace that I fought a whole frickin' war for…

"Excuse me?" Trowa jolted him from his thoughts. Duo had picked himself up off the ground (sort of) and attached himself to Trowa's leg.

"Trowa's my best buddy! He saved my life!" Duo squealed again and again.

"You should really provide us with some sort of substance to sustain us through the night," Trowa repeated, raising an eyebrow a little.

"All right! All right! Just stop bugging me!" Heero yelled, sitting up and clutching his head with both hands. He stood up and marched out to the kitchen to see what there was to cook (he figured he had spent enough money that day to drain his paycheck for about 3 months or more). Trowa walked out after him, or tried, being weighed down with Duo and all. In the end, he gave up and dragged Duo along on the floor. Duo didn't seem to mind if it meant being with his "hero".

Quatre was in the kitchen and had already laid out the ingredients he could find in the kitchen.

"We have rice, onions, egg, chicken and some random herbs and spices," Quatre told him. "I guess that means we're making fried rice?"

"Yeah, whatever," Heero muttered, willing to do almost anything to get them off his back and have a moment's peace. After this, he would have to pay Dr. J a "surprise" visit…

"First you have to cook the rice," Quatre instructed him

"If you're so smart, then why don't you do it?" Heero snapped at him.

"I'm too short and I am only five years old… I can't handle cooking tools," Quatre explained. Heero sighed. He was trapped… there was nothing he could do… for now… Duo and Trowa sat at the table opposite each other, Duo finally letting go of Trowa's leg. Now Duo was imitating everything that Trowa did. When Trowa put his head in his hands, Duo did the same, when Trowa began playing with his fringe then Duo began doing the same almost immediately. Oh well, they say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery…

"There," Heero flipped on the rice cooker switch after putting a pot of rice inside to cook. After about 5 minutes, the room filled with a thick grey smoke

"Quatre," Heero coughed, "is there meant to be this much smoke?"

"No, not usually!" Quatre choked out barely. "Did you remember to put water into the pot of rice to allow it to boil?"

"Damn!" Heero swore mildly and made his way over to the smoke- emitting cooker. Releasing the catch on the lid, he opened it and was greeted by another rush of hot smoke. It filled the room and triggered the smoke alarm system, which was connected to a ceiling sprinkling system which Quatre had installed to be prepared for anything else that could happen at one of Duo's parties. In 5 minutes, not only was the rice burnt and a shrill annoying sound piercing their eardrums, but they were also completely drenched. Who knew all this could come out of trying to cook rice? Extremely pissed off, his headache aggravated by the lack of oxygen in the room and the annoying pitch of the smoke alarm, Heero slammed the pot of rice down onto the table, right on poor Duo's finger. Duo gave a little yelp of pain but wasn't heard over the chaos. Drawing his gun from beneath the apron that Quatre made him don on for "safety reasons", Heero let off a couple of well-aimed shots. The first one took out the sprinkler system and the second and third put the smoke alarm out of commission. They stood and sat there in silence for a moment and the smoke began to thin out. 

"Maybe we should get started on the chicken," Quatre suggested tentatively, breaking the silence after a while. Heero gritted his teeth together in frustration.

"Let's go and change first, then we'll talk about what to do all right?" he growled, storming out of the room, his chocolate brown hair plastered to his skull, making him look a lot older than he actually was. Slamming his foot down hard on every step on the way up in frustration, Heero finally made it to his room, which happened to be on the top floor of the mansion and 50 steps up. Needless to say, not only were Heero's ears and head hurting but now his feet were pretty much giving him shit too. He cursed and slammed the door after him and began to take his sopping wet clothes off. He pulled his singlet off over his head and squeezed it dry out the window. As he sifted through his wardrobe for another shirt to wear, his room door opened with a slight creak. Heero's super alert senses picked up the noise and the movement and he spun around top-half naked, to face a very wide-eyed Duo.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Duo squealed and hid behind the door, covering his eyes.

"Get out!" Heero almost yelled. "Get out and go change!"

"Yes sir," Duo replied meekly and made a quick exit. Heero rolled his eyes and pulled out a simple white t-shirt to wear for now until his green singlet could dry. He began to make his way downstairs and bumped into Trowa... who had somehow managed to grow his fringe about another 10 or so inches in the last 10 minutes… wait a minute... what was that strapped to his face and the cast around his finger? "Trowa" turned around to face Heero

"Uncle Heero, you should watch where you're going!" he squealed.

"Huh?" Heero stared into his violet eyes… didn't Trowa use to have green eyes? Suddenly the realization hit him.

"Duo Maxwell!" Heero grabbed Duo's shoulders and began shaking him. "Why are you dressed like Trowa? Dammit, you've even got your hair gelled like his!"

"He is my hero!" Duo explained proudly. "I wanna be just like him!"

"Duo!" Heero growled but gave up arguing with him, deciding it wasn't worth it and made his way down to the kitchen to mop it up. Trowa walked out of his room, putting the final touches on his intricate hairdo with his faithful can of hairspray. He looked up and the spray can clattered to the floor as he released it in surprise when he saw an exact mirror image of himself standing in front of him. Well almost... his hair was a lot longer than his was, and it wasn't properly shaped and styled... his "mirror" image also had violet eyes…

"Duo," Trowa asked, "why are you dressed like me with hair like me?"

"Because you're my hero and I wanna be just like you because you saved my life!" Duo squealed and immediately took on the look that Trowa usually had on his face… that impassive, placid one… it did NOT suit him…

Trowa blanched totally and a massive sweat drop slowly dropped down his forehead.

"Come here, my hero!" Duo went to go hug Trowa but only got armfuls of air as Trowa quickly somersaulted onto the banister with his acrobatic skill and slid down. Duo tried to follow him and Quatre, who was carefully toweling his hair, winced as he heard a nasty crack sound as Duo landed on the banister and knew where he had landed. Duo fell off the banister in mortal pain, clutching the area that hurt.

"Duo are you all right?" Quatre asked, shocked as he ran over to his "fallen friend"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Duo said through his teeth, which he had clenched in pain.

"Okay," Quatre shrugged and walked down the stairs to see if Heero needed any help

"Ahhh…Quatre… help me…" Duo moaned from where he lay motionless in pain, at the top of the stairs.

A.N~ I thought that chapter was kinda weird… I dunno…. You review and tell me lol… well I hope you enjoyed it anyway… I stayed up till 11:45pm doing this!!! 


	6. SORRY! This is really important and it's...

Hey again people!  
  
This is Cruel Destiny but it's not about reviews this time ^^. Actually, this is just a notice to inform all you readers out there of this really stupid story that I might not be continuing for a while (and like I said, it's not the reviews!) Basically, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me a few days ago and, as you can probably imagine, I am pretty upset/ depressed/ on the verge of suicide.As well as that, I have just impaled my second finger on a machine needle i.e. I sewed through my finger, making typing a very painful experience. sorry everyone, thanks for reviewing and I swear I WILL finish this story! ^^  
  
Ow. ow. need to go rest my finger now..  
  
Cruel Destiny 


	7. Who Feels Like Chicken Tonight?

A.N- For later reference in this chapter- I have mentioned a school named Waverley College. For everyone out there who doesn't understand, let me explain- I have a brother and my first ex who go to that school. Every day without fail, somewhere in the school there will be a fight that draws blood (and usually a lot of it) and a spitball will be hurled (usually at someone in the younger years or a teacher). In fact, I'll be willing to make a $50 bet with someone on that one… that Waverley boys cannot go a day without chucking a spit or drawing someone else's blood. In this school it is not safe to put your hands on the stair rail because you don't know what's on it- I'm serious! And you know the deal with and 

Chapter 6-Who Feels Like Chicken Tonight?

Heero squeezed the mop dry in the bucket after an exhausting 30 minutes of drying the floor. Yes, the Perfect Soldier had been trained in every art except the art of house keeping. Quatre walked in wearing a shirt that read "HUG ME!" in huge red letters- Heero suspected it was a gift from Dorothy.

"Are you done yet?" Quatre asked him

"Yes your highness I am finished," Heero retorted sarcastically. Quatre stared at him but said nothing and continued to lick his lollipop from earlier that day. Heero threw the mop into the bucket violently, causing the bucket full of water to topple over and splash all over the kitchen floor again.

"Shit!" Heero swore in frustration.

Trowa looked around quickly, his small emerald eyes zooming from the right side to the left side, scanning the area for Duo. Good, no sign of him yet…he had to be extra careful to avoid him for the rest of the…

"Troooooooooowwwwwaaaaaaaaaa!"

Too late…

15 minutes later, Heero was getting a harder workout on his biceps than anything Dr. J could've given him. 

"Mmm…" Quatre said as he sat at the dining table sipping his milkshake, watching Heero mop. "You missed a spot"

Heero's eyebrow twitched furiously in frustration as he walked over to the designated spot and wiped up the small puddle of water in a few rough motions.

"There," Heero told Quatre, leaning the mop against the wall, "I'm done! You happy?"

"The kitchen has to be clean and sterile because we have to prepare food in it!" Quatre squealed.

"Yes, I know," Heero said through clenched teeth. "Where are Duo and Trowa?"

Quatre shrugged as he thought of where he left Duo, moaning in pain at the top of the stairs. "I dunno."

They turned to the window as they saw two tiny figures dressed in dark blue and white run across the lawn, Duo chasing after Trowa, Trowa was (understandably) running in the opposite direction like hell.

"Come back here!" Duo squealed as he ran. "My heeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrooooooooo!"

"Ugh…" Heero shuddered at the reminder of that certain someone and the sudden flash of déjà vu… 

The mopping finished, he, carefully this time, put the mop and bucket away and took out the wok to start cooking. He lined the wok with oil and started a fire to heat it up so that the chicken would simmer faster. This was all thanks to hearing Relena talk ceaselessly on her phone to her girlfriends about cooking recipes and the dilemmas they were in when their cooks took leave. 

"Heero," Quatre said suddenly, startling Heero slightly and making his hand slip.

"FU- la la la la, la la la la…" he made a quick save from what he was about to say, as his hand made contact with the very hot side of the wok. Quatre stared at him.

"I didn't know you liked to sing Christmas carols while cooking," Quatre said simply get it? Christmas carols… *starts singing* Deck the halls with boughs of holly… fa la la la la, la la la la… *gets blank stares from readers* oh never mind… ^^

Heero stared at him but said nothing. Suddenly remembering that his hand had been seriously burnt, Heero rushed towards the sink and quickly switched on the cold water tap. Cold water started gushing out in torrents, spraying it everywhere. Some of it landed in the wok, which was coated with heated oil and if you are Asian and/or plain stupid like some people I know… lol… I'm looking at YOU Judy! =P you would know that when you put water in a wok coated with heated oil, it starts to spit worse than Waverley boys do on a particularly shitty day refer to A.N.. And that's exactly what the wok started doing. It spat oil all over the place.

"EEK!" Quatre squealed and ducked underneath the table as little bullets of oil sped his way.

"What?" Heero spun around as some burning hot oil landed on his cheek. "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Without thinking, he put his cheek underneath the tap to cool that off too, having never been within at least 10 feet of a kitchen before. Soon a very wet, very pissed off Heero lifted his head from the tap. His hair was dripping again after blow-drying it the first time. Quatre peeked out from underneath the table to see if the oil spit fire had stopped yet and stifled a giggle as he saw Heero standing there with a very red hand and sopping wet hair.

"That is IT," Heero said through clenched teeth. "We are going out to eat!"

At this point in time, Trowa rushed in and quickly slammed the glass door right behind him. Duo, with the certain handicap of his new hairstyle, which he had not yet learned how to see around, couldn't quite see that there was glass there…BAM! Everyone turned around at the noise to see Duo's flattened face against the glass and his nose squashed through the little nose-guard which he (still) wore. Trowa ran like the devil was on his heels (which he probably was depending on how you define "devil" =P) to his room and Heero and Quatre could hear the lock click into place. Quatre slowly opened the door and Duo fell face flat onto the floor. He lay there for a few moments in silence before letting out a low moan. "Ow…"

He looked up at them and they could see that his hair had left a jagged red impression on his face. He blinked a few times. Then he slowly stood up.

"Where's Trowa?" he asked innocently. Heero and Quatre pointed silently upstairs. Duo immediately lit up and raced towards the stairs. Quatre noticed, with a bit of evil glee, that Duo was running with a slight limp. hmm, I wonder why… =P. A couple of seconds later, they could hear him thumping against the door calling Trowa's name.

"I thought that banging into the glass door might've knocked some sense back into him," Heero muttered sarcastically, "then again, what was I thinking… Duo doesn't have any sense to begin with…" he continued muttering and cursing quietly to himself in Japanese as he made his way upstairs to change (again). "Don't move!" he called out to Quatre. "Don't do ANYTHING! Don't' even TOUCH anything! Just stay there until I get back!"

Quatre merely nodded and sat on the nearest chair.

Heero clambered up the stairs, having the good sense this time to not stomp his foot down on every step. He passed Trowa's room on his way up. Duo had still not succeeded in gaining entry to Trowa's room. Heero snorted to himself. Duo was never really that good at infiltration.

Entering his private ensuite, Heero found his hairdryer and began the long and arduous task of blowing his hair dry. He opened his drawer and got a comb, combing it so that it looked "natural" and not like it had been through two thorough soakings of sprinkler water and tap water neither of which he hoped he would ever experience again. He spent at least 15 minutes perfecting the look that he was trying to achieve (who knew Heero really cared about his hair THAT much lol). Finally satisfied, he decided to wear black this time. At least if Duo decided to start a food fight or something (he wouldn't put it past him), it wouldn't show up that much on his shirt. He grabbed his jacket, just for good measure. After changing and making sure that he didn't mess up the hair "leave the hair alone!" as Ivan (first ex) used to say… don't ask me why I just added that, I don't know =P, Heero walked out of his room. Duo was still outside Trowa's door pounding on it like there was no tomorrow. Well, if Trowa didn't open the door soon, Duo would probably cave it in, Heero thought drily. He decided to spare Trowa the torture.

"Come here Duo!" Heero walked over to him and picked him up, slinging him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"No! Trowa!" Duo howled as Heero carried him off.

"I am going to change those clothes of yours and make you stop copying Trowa because two Trowas in this house is too many!"

"No! But I wanna be like Trowa!" Duo squealed. "I wanna be like Trowa!" he started throwing a tantrum.

"Shut up before I break that middle finger of yours!" Heero growled. Duo fell silent immediately.

"That's better," Heero told him, frustrated. He dumped Duo onto the bed and went in search of appropriate clothing. "Now do you want to wear that hot, dark blue top or this nice bright pink one?" he asked, sticking up that damn fluro t-shirt that gave him a headache just looking at it.

"Pink! Pink! Pink!" Duo squealed. Heero tossed the shirt in his face

"Well then get changed and meet me down there in T-5!"

Duo stared at him blankly. Heero sighed, exasperated

"5 minutes," he explained to him before stalking out of the room and slamming the door behind him.

"Gee, what's his problem…" Duo muttered as he began to change. 

Trowa slowly climbed out from where he had taken refuge under his bed. Duo's banging had stopped for a whole 5 minutes. He slowly, cautiously opened his door just enough for him to see what was going on outside. Wow, no Duo… no Trowa wannabes… the hallway was clear! Seizing the rare opportunity, Trowa began to stealthily sneak out and make his way downstairs.

Meanwhile…

"Wufei, what do you want for dinner?" Sally called out as she finished locking up the surgery.

"Anything but your cooking," Wufei told her, "anything a woman cooks can't be good,"

Sally shrugged. "Whatever. How about we go for Chinese food?"

"Chinese food? HAH… the Chinese restaurants around here are full of cheap imitations! They don't know how to cook real Chinese food! I'll bet that the food there is cooked by a WOMAN! ALL WOMEN ARE WEAK!" he had raised his voice progressively louder during his outburst and it reached the level of a shout.

"Shh…Wufei! You can't just say these things out here! Women have equal rights you know!"

Wufei glared at her. Sally shook her head. He must've caught the glaring disease from Heero.

"Well then what about KFC?" she suggested

"Hmm… KFC…" Wufei mused to himself. "Well the 11 Herbs and Spices recipe WAS invented by a male… onna, you shall be honoured to take me to KFC for dinner!"

Sally raised her eyebrow. After this whole chibi thing wore off, she would have to have a word with Wufei…

"So, where do you want to go for dinner?" Heero asked while they were riding in the back of one of Quatre's many limos.

"What about some nice Indian delicacy?" Quatre suggested. Duo made a wet noise no, not THAT way all you sick-minded ppl out there (like me lol ^^) with his tongue.

"I wanna go KFC!" he declared

"Trowa, where do you want to eat?" Heero asked

"……"

"I still say Indian," Quatre said

"Hey Quatre," Duo said, with a sly tone in his voice, "did you know that KFC chicken has 11 herbs and spices? So in a way, you ARE eating Injun food!"

Quatre, being sorta gullible as he is, thought about it for a little while before saying, "Okay! KFC it is!"

The limo turned into the nearest KFC branch and they all got out.

"YAY!" Duo switched into over-excited mode again and started dashing around. Soon, they could only see a streak of fluro pink dashing backwards and forwards in the parking lot.

"Duo Maxwell! Get back here at once!" Heero barked yes I know Judy, you're probably thinking ruff, ruff! Duo, being surprisingly obedient, came to heel at once. Wow, Heero thought, I may actually be getting good at this parenting stuff… NO don't think about that… parenting?! He shook his head as he pushed the door open and let them all in. They ran up to the counter and stopped behind a woman who wore her hair in two braids with a young Chinese boy who had a short mullet.

"Hrmmph!" Duo turned away. "It's that stinky-poo Wufei!"

"It's that baka pig, Maxwell," Wufei returned.

"So much for niceties, huh?" Sally smiled.

"You look like a pig! Oink, oink.. pig! P-Y-G pig!" Wufei taunted Duo. Heero raised his eyebrow at Wufei's bad spelling but said nothing. Who knew what would happen to him if he interfered with a 5-year-old's quarrel. The Perfect Soldier had survived two wars only to be taken down by a couple of 5-year-olds… sure… 

"What do you want to order? Tell me quick before I change my mind and make you all starve tonight," Heero growled

"Get a bucket and we'll all share!" Duo squealed

"I'm not sharing with THAT weakling!" Wufei declared haughtily.

"Oh drop the more-honourable-than-thou attitude," Sally told him, sick to death already of Wufei's rambling

"So it finally got to you too," Heero muttered to Sally as they began to place their orders. Sally rolled her eyes in Wufei's direction but said nothing.

"Hello," the service attendant Liza yes- Liza! Hahaha! greeted them, "what would you like?"

"Get us a 21-piece bucket with 2 large fries…" Sally began

"No! 3 large fries!" Duo jumped up and down and started yelling.

"3 large fries, then" Sally changed her order. "And what side dishes do you want?" she asked the chibis. 

"I want mashed 'tatoes!" Duo squealed

"Give me coleslaw!" Wufei grunted

"Mashed potatoes," Trowa stated simply 

"Mashed potatoes," Quatre told her

"So that's uhh… three mashed potatoes and one coleslaw on the side," Liza keyed in the order

"No wait!" Duo yelled. "I don't want 'tatoes anymore! I want coleslaw!"

"If that baka's having coleslaw, then I'm having the potatoes!" Wufei declared

"Maybe I should try the coleslaw too…" Quatre mused

"Wait!" Sally called out to her as she began to get the food. "Can I change that to two mashed potatoes and two coleslaws?"

"Sure thing," Liza said, trying to keep looking happy. This was a larger family than average- of course they would change their minds sometime… she bent down to get the coleslaw from the bottom shelf of the fridge…

"Oh no! If Trowa's having the 'tatoes but I'm having the coleslaw… I WANT MASHED 'TATOES!" Duo changed his mind yet again.

"And if that baka's having the potatoes, them I'm having coleslaw!" Wufei declared

"Oh dear… " Quatre mused, "maybe mashed potatoes would be better…"

"Hang on!" Sally called out to Liza again. "I'm really sorry but could I change that order one last time?" 

"Of course ma'am," Liza said through clenched teeth. Dammit, all her Year 8 and Year 9 days of terrorizing the service people at KFC were catching up on her don't glare and pretend it's not gonna happen Liza, cos we both know that it is!

"All right- now it's one coleslaw and three mashed potatoes," Sally told her "and we're not going to change our minds again are we?" she spun around to face the chibis with such a frightening look on her face, they all cowered in fear.

Gee, Liza thought, and I haven't even asked them what drinks they want yet…

****

A.N- This chapter is dedicated to the hard workers at KFC who, somehow, manage to put up with us terrorizing them every day, and those damn 11 Herbs and Spices which never fail to make us extremely high and/or drunk ^______________________^


	8. Munch Munch

A.N. Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up! I had assessments and exams etc. etc. you get the drift ^__^…

WARNING: there are quiet a few random ppl in here… I dunno why I chucked them in really, I just thought it'd be fun… oh well- ENJOY! And you guys should know what's with and  =)

Chapter 8- Munch Munch

Now Liza you still remember that poor KFC service girl don't you =P finally asked the question she had been dreading.

"What drinks would you like sir?" she asked tentatively. If his kids were as indecisive as they were ordering side dishes, she had a feeling that she would be here for probably the whole night. 'I better get paid extra for this,' she thought as she put on a friendly smile and waited to take his order.

"Give us one 1.5 L bottle of Pepsi," Heero told her.

"I no wanna Pepsi! I no wanna Pepsi!" Duo whined.

"Could I have that bottle of Pepsi now?" Heero asked quickly

"Sure thing," Liza told him. She must always keep the customer happy, must always keep the customer happy… don't wanna be fired and have to work at VideoEzy again…she handed Heero the bottle of Pepsi

"I no wanna Pepsi! I no wanna Pepsi!" Duo was still whining. Heero grabbed the bottle by its neck and promptly bonked Duo over the head with it sound familiar Judy? =P. Duo slowly sank to the ground. Liza was shocked at this blatant display of child abuse.

"Sir, I am shocked and appalled at this!" Liza HAD to speak out against this. "What if he's hurt? Or worse, dead?"

"Believe me, if you knew Duo, you would also know that his skull is thicker than a slab of concrete," Heero growled, "and if you were in my position, you'd do that too"

Liza said nothing but arranged the order onto a tray and handed it to Sally.

"Come on- let's just eat and get out of here," Heero growled

'What an anti-social," Liza thought, "but on the other hand, he's pretty damn cute…"

They walked towards a nearby table.

"Uh sir…" Liza called out, "you forgot to pay"

"How much?" Heero asked

"Um…" Liza pressed the buttons hurriedly on her cash register as Heero glared at her impatiently. "$37 sir"

"$37?! That's daylight robbery!" Heero almost yelled

"Heero, its 7 o'clock at night," Sally jarred him totally.

"Fine!" Heero slammed a $50 note on the counter. Liza took it, a little flustered by this man's anger, and began drawing cash out of the change drawer.

"Hurry up, I don't have all night," Heero muttered impatiently.

'That's  funny,' Liza thought, 'I always thought that the female was supposed to have PMS…'

Heero continued to glare at her. Hurry up already! She was looking back at him in a strange manner. What the hell was she looking at? If she'd had the day that he just had, she would look like this too. He glanced at the table where they were seated. Oh no, Duo was reaching for the bottle of Pepsi…he saw the move before it was made.

"Sally- duck!" Heero tackled her down mere seconds before Duo flicked the lid off the Pepsi bottle and black soft drink sprayed everywhere.

"It's raining Pepsi!" Duo squealed as he rotated the bottle around, decorating the walls, tables and chairs with Pepsi. The door opened and two people stepped inside, just as Duo turned the Pepsi bottle round that way. Needless to say, Milliardo and Relena were very very annoyed. Relena blinked, a little dazed, having just been showered down with Pepsi. Then she saw Sally on the floor and Heero on top of her, in a very wrong-looking position and immediately started to bawl her eyes out. Milliardo stood there, his hair dripping wet for a moment before letting out a cry of rage and tackling Heero. 

"Eep!" Heero squealed ?! as he got up quickly and started running.

"Get back here Yuy!" Milliardo growled. He began to give chase. Heero ran like hell. Suddenly there was a loud bang from behind him.

"Huh?" Heero spun around to see Milliardo face flat in a puddle of Pepsi.

"Grrr…" Milliardo growled. "I'm gonna kill you…!" He made a dash for Heero but was restrained by Sally and the wonderful service attendant, Liza who had also been sprayed with Pepsi. Using her wonderful taekwondo "techniques", Liza managed to calm the restrained Milliardo.

"Aww man, now the chicken is all wet and the food tastes like Pepsi!" Duo sighed. Everyone turned towards him. "What?" he asked innocently. Wufei we the first to move in for the kill (naturally) closely followed by Heero, Milliardo and Trowa. Relena was still crying but now it was because her ideal of total pacifism had been violated. Sally and Quatre stood to the side and tried to clean up the mess that Duo made. Liza ran over to the counter and grabbed her walkie-talkie thing which linked her to the store manager, Dima ^___________^

"Dima!" she yelled. "We need backup over here!"

A succession of high laughs replied. Liza rolled her eyes. It seemed that Dima was on a high on KFC chicken again real story, it happened- he got high on KFC chicken while we get drunk She would have to clean this mess up herself.

"SHUT UP!" Liza yelled over the racket. Everyone froze where they were- Wufei was pulling Duo's hair and Trowa was about to let fly a punch to Duo's face. Heero and Milliardo somehow had gotten into a fencing match ?!? with two of the soggy drumsticks and in some weird way, had also gotten the side dishes involved- Heero was covered in mashed potatoes while Milliardo's face dripped with mayonnaise and cabbage. 

"Thank you!" she said, beginning to hyperventilate. "I'm going to have to eject you from the restaurant!"

"Fine…" Heero muttered , dropping his drumstick. He began to walk out, brushing off blobs of mashed potatoes as he went.

"But," Liza continued, "you're going to have to clean this unholy mess up first!"

Heero spun around and pulled out his pistol. "I don't take orders from a 14-year-old punk"

Liza smiled and clicked her fingers. In an instant, standing beside her was a sly, smiling asian girl with a machete in one hand and a hunting knife in the other remind you of anyone Judy? =P.

"Yes," Liza replied, raising an eyebrow, "but will you take orders from a psycho obsessed with knives and blood?" She turned to talk to the psycho asian girl but she was nowhere to be found. Suddenly…

GLOMP! She had Trowa in a tight bearhug.

"Oh my gosh it's Trowa! Oh how cute!" she squealed. Trowa's face turned blue, then purple as the "psycho" squeezed him round the neck tighter and tighter, obviously unaware of her own "strength". A huge anime sweat drop rolled down Liza's forehead.

"I should've guessed," she muttered. "Come on, you," she took the "psycho" by the collar and dragged her "off stage" whaT? I don't know any other way to put it ^_^v

"Trooooowa…" she said as she was dragged away, out of sight. There was a short succession of screams, crashes and bangs. Seconds later, the psycho asian girl rushed out again and in no time, had Trowa in another tight bearhug. Liza quickly followed, her hair frazzled, a fresh lump beginning to swell on the back of her head. 

"Come ON," she dragged her "off-stage" again. Liza emerged about 15 minutes later, her arms red. 

"Phew," she sighed, "that took a while… mental note to self, don't release the psycho out without sedatives on hand…" she shook her head slightly, "Now," she turned her attention back to her very disruptive customers, "are you going to clean up or do I have to release another psycho?"

"How many psychos do you HAVE?" Millardo choked as Heero took the opportunity to shove his drumstick into his blonde opponent's mouth. "Mrmmph mmrph!" he tried to yell something, obviously to Heero but since he had that drumstick stuck in his mouth…he spat it out. "HEERO YUY!" he yelled at the top of his voice.

"Hehehe…" Heero sniggered evilly, probably under the influence of Hann don't ask me why I'm bringing all these random people into my story- I don't know either…maybe its' because my friend's ex (whom I haven't seen since I stuffed a wet pillow in his face) is visiting today ^^

"That's it!" Liza told them. "I'm bringing out another psycho!" last random person, I swear!!

She diappeared for a moment and a second later, they could hear a wild laugh and a scream which damn near almost tore the building down. Their hearts filled with trepidation. Nothing in their years as soldiers in the great wars had ever prepared them for this…

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" a girl with her hair tied in two plaits dashed out, laughing her head off.

"Aargh!" everyone fell over anime style.

"You think that's bad," Liza laughed, "wait till she starts singing!"

Psycho-2 opened her mouth and hummed the first few notes of "Mary Had A Little Lamb"

"Now I see where they got the expression 'it ain't over till the fat lady sings!' " Milliardo yelled as the ceiling began to crack

"Okay okay! I surrender!" Heero shouted. The Perfect Soldier surrendering? ANYTHING to stop her singing…

"Well now at least I finally know how to defeat you," Milliardo commented almost amusedly.

"Oh yeah, and you can really stand this singing," Heero retorted. Milliardo smiled and dug out a pair of thick ear muffs from his coat. He put them on. Ahhh… sweet sweet silence. He could read Heero's lips as he let out a long line of profanities. A wrestle typically ensued between the two arch-rivals for the ear-muffs.

"Damn you Yuy… GET YOUR OWN!"

"Give them here Zechs! I deserve them as much as you do! After all, I DID save the world not once, but twice! And I saved you sister's ass!"

"Rub my face in it, why don't you! And I'm sure you had your own plans for my sister's ass!"

"What the hell do you mean by that?!" 

They wrestled on the floor, rolling through puddles of Pepsi, globs of mashed potatoes and little mountains of coleslaw left there from their previous "fight". Liza sighed. This was really having the reverse effect.

"Stop singing!" she told Psycho-2 (for random namesakes let's call her… JUDY… =P). Judy shut up for a moment and the two men immediately stopped wrestling and stood up hurriedly.

"I'll take those," Liza nimbly snatched Milliardo's ear muffs and gave him a mop in return. Heero started sniggering again. "And here you go," she shoved one into Heero's arms as well.

"Damn," Heero swore under his breath. Sally, quickly seeing her fate, decided to make a quick escape.

"I'll go get the kids cleaned up," she said hurriedly and snatched Trowa, Duo and Quatre and disappeared into the bathroom. Heero and Milliardo grudgingly started mopping, never ceasing to glare at one another as they worked.

Soon the room was spotless. It's amazing what two arch-rivals can do when competing against each other- even in cleaning a restaurant. They stood in opposite corners, panting from the "hard work" but still glaring at each other. Sally came out a moment later, the kids as clean as she could possibly get them. She wiped her brow. She had just discovered that Duo didn't like baths.

"Wow," she breathed, "you guys are really good at this…"

Milliardo and Heero said nothing but continued to glare at one another.

"So," Liza asked, breaking the awkward silence. "Will that be another bottle of Pepsi?" 


	9. Homeward Bound

A.N. Sorry I took ages to upload this chapter… was very busy with numerous assignments and half-yearly assessments and yadda-yadda-yadda…^_____^  
And you should know the deal with and 

Chapter 9- Homeward bound

"That was a half-good meal," Heero grumbled. "Considering all the trouble we went to for it and $37…"

"Oh shushp Hweor, ash east ish shumsin," Sally snapped at him through a mouthful of chicken drumstick.

"Wha…?" a huge anime sweatdrop rolled down Heero's face. Sally shot him an annoyed look before swallowing her chicken and repeating.

"I _said- _oh shut up Heero at least its something"

Heero rolled his eyes… women were so impossible sometimes…

"I want more! I want more!" Duo squealed as he finished his fitfth drumstick. His hands were shiny with KFC grease and he had stray bits of chicken around the outside of his mouth. He had also devoured the large packet of chips, thoughtfully leaving half a chip for Wufei, who was, needless to say, a little less than grateful. In fact, he wanted to show his appreciation so much, he chased Duo around KFC with his Katana Jr. threatening all sorts of things from cutting his braid off to telling him that when his descendants were born, they would have no backsides lol sorry… canto insult….^____^

Heero and Milliardo finally agreed on something and decided that they could do without the screaming and the chasing people around with knives (even though it was Duo) and decided to separate the two. Heero took Duo and since he couldn't find anywhere else to put him where he could keep and eye on him, he grudgingly put him on his lap. Milliardo got the wonderful task of placating the angry little dragon Wufei.

"See look over there Wufei," Milliardo said, cunningly. They both turned to where Duo was bouncing on Heero's lap, obviously wanting a horsie-ride. Heero's face was etched with pain like he'd never seen before…

"See how immature the little Duo-pig is?" Milliardo told Wufei. Wufei nodded vigorously.

"Tell you what… the sooner you finish your dinner, we can go and when we get home and they're in bed, we can…" he made a discreet slicing motion with her finger across his throat. Wufei nodded again. He understood. What a good plan… he quietly went to his seat and began eating, his mind working deviously… should he put Duo in a pot of boiling oil first and fry his braid off? Or what if he…

Milliardo looked at Wufei eating quietly. Wow, his little plan actually worked… he got Wufei to eat…

'Hey,' he thought to himself, 'now that I come to think of it… that COULD be a good plan… hehehe…'

Meanwhile, Heero was stuck with bouncing Duo up and down on his lap.

"You know Duo, you really shouldn't be bouncing while eating," Heero growled. "You could…"

Duo opened his mouth and it was too late. Heero was now covered in the chicken and chips half-digested by Duo's stomach about 15 minutes ago.

"Eugh!" Heero jumped up immediately, throwing Duo from his lap. Sally sniggered softly but Milliardo couldn't hide his amusement.

"HAHAHA… this really isn't your day is it Yuy?" he snorted.

"Shut UP Zechs!" Heero retorted and because he couldn't think of anything better, he reached the closest thing to him, which happened to be Duo's half-eaten colseslaw, and slugged it in Milliardo's face. Milliardo blinked a few times before letting out an almighty cry of rage.

"YUY~!" he yelled and started to give chase but Sally stopped him. Heero dashed into the male bathrooms and spent well more than half an hour cleaning up. He came out, topless, holding his soaking black top in one hand.

"Can someone please lend me a shirt?" he asked through clenched teeth

Liza, who was still serving at the counter, couldn't take her eyes off him.

"I'm all out Yuy!" Milliardo laughed, obviously enjoying Heero's predicament, forgetting momentarily that he was half-covered in coleslaw. Heero looked at Sally. Sally shook her head.

"Why don't you ask the counter for one? I'm sure that they'd have a few spares- you know, for trainees and stuff…"

"Whatever," Heero sighed and walked up to the counter. He was desperate enough for a shirt to ask for a KFC one. He apporached Liza.

"Oi, you…" he called out to Liza.

"Yes?" she replied.

"Do you have any spare shirts? My one's indisposed of," he showed her his shirt to prove his point.

"I…see…" Liza replied slowly and went behind the counter to the storage room to see if they had any left. She came back 5 minutes later holding a bright red shirt with the print of the KFC Chicken guy Colonel something-or-the-other, I can't remember hehe ^^ on it, in her hand. She tossed it over to Heero.

"Here you go," she told him. Heero looked at it and grimaced. He hated to admit it but Zechs was right. This really wasn't his day. He hurriedly put it on, hoping that no one would notice. Zechs, of course, couldn't resist a chance to make fun of his mortal enemy and did so.

"Dammit Yuy, I knew you were poor but you think that you'd at least have enough money to buy something DECENT to wear!" Zechs snorted, and got coleslaw jammed halfway up his nose (he'd forgotten that Heero slugged it at him before which I really don't know how would happen but ANYWAY…) He started coughing and blowing his nose to get it out to no avail. "DAMN… YOU… YUY…" he managed to choke before he, too, rushed into the male bathrooms. Heero couldn't help but smile through his predicament. About time Zechs got his come-uppance, no matter how small it may be. Zechs came out 5 minutes later, his nose bright red and contrasting against his pale skin and hair.

"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer!" Duo squealed, laughing and pointing at Zechs. This was obviously the last straw. Zechs let out a roar and lunged at Heero who evaded easily. Zechs landed and skidded. He turned around to face Heero.

"YUY!" he said at the same time as Heero yelled,

"ZECHS!" 

They marched up to each other and faced each other, then… started a slanging match (¬.¬)

"YOU NO GOOD SON OF A…"

"YOU BLOODY…"

"YOU AND YOUR GIRLY…"

"STOP!" Sally yelled, getting in between the two of them. They were so exhausted from thinking of insults and yelling them out before the other did, they were panting for breath. "You're both acting like absolute assholes!" she reprimanded them. She sounded so formidable that they both hung their heads in shame. "Go sit down and let the rest of us enjoy our diner in peace!" she told them. They meekly obeyed. Zechs sat down next to Wufei. Wufei shook his head

" Such a weak warrior you are, " he said half-sagely is that a word?, half mockingly. "Beaten down by a woman…" 

Zechs opened his mouth in protest but realized that arguing with Wufei was really quite futile so he gave up and munched his chicken drumstick in moody silence, always glaring at Heero from across the table, who glared in return. Sally looked at both of them and sighed in exasperation. What immature brats.

"And I thought Wufei was bad,' she thought to herself, rolling her eyes as she saw Heero's eyes dart quickly to the coleslaw then to Milliardo's face.

"I'm done," Heero growled, practically throwing his drumstick bone down. Never taking his eyes off his rival, Milliardo did the same as if he were measuring up to a challenge.

"So am I," he replied menacingly.

"That's good!" Sally said, falsely cheerful. There was no need to start another food fight which would only feed Heero's and Zech's pointless rivalry. "Let's be off then!" 

"Yeah…" was all Heero said as he walked out. Zechs galred at his back, snatched Relena and marched out.

"Brother!" Relena squealed. "You're hurting me!" 

"I don't care," Milliardo replied, pulling Relena along, "anything to get to Yuy…"

Sally herded the rest of them along and by the time they got out of KFC, Heero and Milliardo were already firing up their engines.

"Is that a challenge Yuy?" Milliardo yelled as Heero revved his Porsche's engine rather loudly

"Only if you want it to be," Heero replied evenly. Zechs put pressure on his accelerator and a low rumble came from the engine. Heero narrowed his eyes in concentration.

"Let's go," he growled.

"After you," Milliardo replied.

"Ladies first," Heero retorted

"Kings before queens," Milliardo shot back. Heero floored the accelerator and spun his steering wheel around in a spot of expert car handling and waited on the road for Zechs.

"Come, queen," Heero mocked.

"Grr…" Zechs' eyebrow twitched furiously. Zechs quickly followed in his new Lexus. From her vantage point, Sally sighed. Here we go… she herded the kids into her 4WD 4-wheel-drive for all of you who don't know. She decided to take another, safer way home. They both waited at the lights, engines rumbling loudly like impatient beasts waiting to be unleashed… the light turned green. Both of them floor their accelerators at the same time and shot off in two streaks of black and silver. They glared at each other as they pressed on, each wanting to win and beat the his rival. They shot through traffic lights, using their own special tricks to try and out-maneuver the other. At one point Heero got on two wheels so he could slice throught traffic. To top that one off, Zechs decided to make his car fly- literally. Heero couldn't help but let a look of surprise cross his face as Zechs flew over 3 or 4 cars and landed a few cars in front of him. 

"Damn," Heero swore and floored the accelerator as he swerved onto the nature strip in an effort to outrun his rival. 

"How d'you like them apples Yuy!?" Zechs yelled, proud that he had outshowed Heero. Heero took out his pistol from the glove compatment and took close aim at Zechs' wheels. Behind them they could hear the low whine of a police car. 

"Shit!" Heero swore and punched his dashboard in frustration as he applied even more pressure on the accelerator to lose the pursuit of the law. He sped along the nature strip and thoughtlessly swerved into an opening behind Zechs, almost giving the woman behind him a heart attack.

"Zechs! The police!" Heero yelled.

"I know Yuy! I'm not blind!"

"With the way you drive, I wouldn't be surprised if you were!"

Zechs opened his mouth to retort but decided not to say anything as the police were, somehow, gaining on them.

"I hate to say this but I think we need to join forces!"

"WHAT?!" Zechs couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Make an alliance with YOU?!" 

"It's the wisest thing to do right now!" Heero yelled back. Zechs paused a moment to look behind him and saw that more police cars had joined the chase and he thought he even saw a SWAT van behind them.

"FINE!" Zechs told Heero. "But this is the first and last time Yuy- you got that!?" 

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Heero smirked as he swerved into the lane beside Zechs.

"So what do we do?" Zechs screamed

"I don't know! You're the evil mastermind here!"Heero yelled back. Zechs glared at him.

"Do you wanna do this or not?"

"Fine- take my steering wheel for a minute!" Heero yelled. He picked up his pistol and leaned out the window. Taking aim, he let off a few shots at the police car.

"YUY what are you DOING?!" Zechs yelled as he struggled to keep both cars under control.

"Saving your ass!" Heero yelled as he let off more shots. This was beginning to resemble a car chase movie more and more. In the back seat, Relena started to cry.

"Big brother!" she cried. "What are you doing?"

"Shut up and be quiet!" Zechs yelled as his concentration was momentarily broken.

"They're the same thing Zechs!" Heero mocked him as he continued to fire bullets. An empty clicking sound resounded in his ear.

"Dammit!" Heero swore. He ducked back into his car to look for more ammo in the glove compartment. There was none there. "Shit!" he swore again.

"What is it Yuy?"

"Out of ammo!" Heero yelled back.

"Perfect… just perfect!" Zechs growled as he increased his speed. By now, most of the other cars on the road had enough sense to get off the road.

"They're gaining on us!" Heero checked his rear-view mirror.

"Faster!" Zechs applied pressure on his accelerator which was already touching the floor. The speedometer needle wavered at 200 km/h.

"Can't this piece of shit go any faster?" Heero menaced as he pushed his car forward. He cheeked his speedometer. 250km/h… dammit… need to go faster dammit, FASTER! He could see Zechs behind him, also trying to elude capture. He saw trees and houses fly by in a blur of green and brown as he sped down the road. Oh shit…. Traffic lights ahead. Don't turn red, don't turn red… 

"I know!" he said to himself, "Why didn't I think of that earlier?" Flipping on his on-board computer which he installed himself, into the dashboard., he tried tapping into the underground switchboard.  "Success!" he gave a little cheer ?! for himself as the light turned green from orange. He sped past the intersection, hoping no one was stupid enough to jay-walk and changed the signal to red as soon as Zechs cleared the intersection. The temptation to leave Zechs there was overwhelming but he knew that he wouldn't survive to the age of 20 if he did. 

"Nice thinking Yuy!" Zechs told him

"Wouldn't hurt to call me Heero once in a while you know?" Heero growled back.

"Hey I'm not THAT grateful to you!"

Heero rolled his eyes and cruised along at a comfortable 150 km/h now. The police were behind them… see… I can almost hear that police whine now…. WHAT THE HELL?! Heero checked his rear-view mirror to confirm what his ears had already told him. There was still one police car that made it through. He could hear the police radio crackling with words as the policeman described the suspects.

"The black Porsche is driven by a young Japanese man who seems to work at KFC… he is wearing a bright red shirt with a picture of the Colonel on it!"

Zechs couldn't help but let out a whoop of laughter as Heero gritted his teeth, half in embarrassment and half in frustration. 

"The other suspect appears to be a woman with long blonde hair…"

"HAH!" Heero laughed as Zechs turned crimson.

"Shut UP Yuy, I'm warning you!" Zechs roared. They sped along. It was late at night so there wasn't much traffic if any at all. Suddely Heero saw the police cruiser glide next to him.

"What the hell?" he yelled and went faster. The police car matched his speed with ease and as he tried again to lose the car, the driver swung it around, blocking the road in front of him.

"No problem," Heero muttered. He swerved around the police car, only to collide into Zech's car. Thankfully, they had both insisted on making their cars out of Gundanium metal and the only thing hurt was their pride.

"Heero you moron! What the holy f**king hell are you thinking?!" Zechs yelled. The policeman climbed out of the car and both of them were suddenly filled with fear and premonition. She flicked her light blonde hair back and swept it up into her cap.

"Hello boys," Dorothy smiled, deliciously evil... 

A.N. Once again, sorry this took so long… I hope it was worth the wait! ^________^


	10. The Morning After

A.N. *mwah* I love you all! Hahaha (not in the literal sense yunno ^_~) Thank you for reviewing my story! =) and wow 10 chapters hehe… didn't think I'd be able to actually get this far with this story! ^^

Oh and there may be a bit of Heero OOC-ness in this chapter! ^^

Chapter 10

"Well now, who do we have here?" Dorothy smiled. "Oh Mr. Milliardo!" she squealed. "And Heero Yuy too! What a catch!"

"Uh… hey Dorothy…" Milliardo managed to stumble out, as he quickly fumbled with the door latch behind him in an effort to get out and hopefully get far, far away from this deluded blonde. No such luck- Heero had smashed it in when he rammed into his car.

"Dorothy," Heero said in a falsely calm voice as he, too, fiddled with his door handle, "I thought you were an ESUN representative?"

"Oh, you remember that? How sweet of you!" Dorothy giggled. "Well I thought I'd be daring- you know! Politician by day, but daring fighter of crime by night!" she struck a pose.

"ARH!" Everyone fell over anime style you know, with their legs sticking up in the air and everything ^^

"Well now I have to fulfill my duties as the fighter of crime I am- they didn't give me this junior officer badge for nothing you know- and arrest you two for driving dangerously! Or was it disturbing the public peace? No! Wait, I know! Disturbing the public peace by driving dangerously! Oh no, that doesn't sound professional enough! Disturbing the public peace on account of dangerous driving! Yes, that's it!" she giggled and smiled, making a small victory sign with her first two fingers (not including her thumb) "V" as Hann puts it hehe. Sweatdrops rolled down everyone's faces.

"Yeah whatever Dorothy," Heero sighed. "Just arrest us already!"

"Ooh!" Dorothy squealed. "My first arrest! Can you believe it? Cool! You boys have made me so happy!" she sniffed, tears of happiness ?! in her eyes. Milliardo glanced at Heero, a look of hopelessness reflected in his eyes.

"Help me," he mouthed silently as Dorothy fumbled for her handcuffs. Heero shrugged as Dorothy placed handcuffs around his wrists. He could see her eyeing the shirt.

"Don't ask," Heero growled as Dorothy opened her mouth to do just that. Milliardo sniggered.

"You boys should be more careful on the road you know!" Dorothy said as she pushed them into the back of the police car.

"Let's just get this over with," Milliardo growled.

"Who would've thought? The former greatest threat to the world arrested for dangerous driving- hehe!" Dorothy giggled as she slid into the drivers seat. Heero rolled his eyes again. He was really getting sick of Dorothy's giggling. 

"What's going to happen to Relena?" Milliardo growled. "You better not put her in some foster home…!" 

"Never mind, Mr. Milliardo! She'll be fine!"

Sally waited outside the Winner masion for the two boys to get back. She sighed and looked at her watch- it was 9:30 already. In case they hadn't realized, Relena was in the back seat of the car too. It was way past her bedtime. A police cruiser pulled up outside the house. Sally's eyes widened in alarm. The policeman stepped out of the car

"What happened to them officer? Is Relena all right? Oh I swear if they hurt Relena, I'm gonna…!"

"Calm down, ma'am," the police officer told her. "We have the child but the two males are down at the police station. They were arrested"

"Pfft, trust them," Sally huffed. "Am I going to have to bail them out?"

Heero and Milliardo glared at each other from opposite sides of their shared prison cell.

"You know Yuy," Milliardo said, breaking the silence, "this would've never happened to me if you didn't decide to run into my car!"

"Hey, if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have made it past the traffic lights!"

"Oh YEAH, well if it wasn't for you… I… I… uh…." Milliardo's speech grew thicker as fatigue settled onto him and suddenly he was out like a rock. Heero rolled his eyes. What a lazy pig. As he made his way to the upper bunk, he could see tiny, little follicles of hair pushing their way out of the surface of the skin. It seems that Mr. Perfect had forgotten to shave this morning. An evil grin crossed Heero's face as he was struck with an idea…

"ARGH!" Milliardo's girlish ?! Haha scream pierced Heero's eardrums and woke him up. 

"Wha…?" Heero sat up sleepily in his bunk and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes blearily. "What's the alarm Zechs? Just realized how ugly you look?" he yawned. Milliardo stared at himself forlornly in the dusty cell mirror. Milliardo spun around in outrage and Heero stifled a laugh as he surveyed his own handiwork. Milliardo now sported a full-length curly Italian moustache and, in Heero's opinion, a pretty damn fine monobrow. Heero also noticed that Zechs had a few more "moles" than he'd realized before.

"YUY!" Zechs roared. "WHAT IN THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY BEAUTIFUL FACE?!"

"Hehehe…" Heero sniggered evilly to himself as he watched Zechs trying hopelessly to scrub the damning ink off. Heero twirled the permanent marker between two fingers. "Having fun Zechs?" he laughed.

"THIS IS NOT FUNNY!" Zechs yelled. "Ohh…" he held his face in his hands and did a worried little dance ?! Where DO I get all these weird ideas from…anyway…. =P… "Oh…. What if Noin sees me like this?" he gave a little shriek at the thought and started scrubbing even harder.

"If I see you like what?" a female voice rang out in the corridor. Zechs turned around to see who it was and screamed.

"Hey Noin," Heero addressed the black-haired Italian woman whom Zechs had been trying to impress for years.

"Don't look at me Noin, you'll be traumatised for the rest of your life!" Zechs was crouching in a dark corner, his back turned to the rest of the world, little sorrow bubbles oh cummon, you people know what they look like! floating around his head.

"I'm surprised she wasn't already… I mean having to work with you for so long…." Heero shook his head.

"What did you do to him?" Noin asked, smiling

"I gave him a face lift… kinda made him look better y'know?" Heero told her off-handedly. 

"You call THIS a face lift?!" Milliardo yelled pointing to his face. Little frustration bubbles appeared all over his face. Noin started laughing when she saw Milliardo's new look.

"Oh Zechs! Hahah… you needed a new look!" Noin snorted with laughter.

"That's IT Yuy! You make ME look like a fool in front of the woman I love!"

"No, not really, you can do that all by yourself!" Heero returned. Eyebrow (well the right side of it anyway lol) twitching like hell, Milliardo grabbed his pillow and whacked Heero to the head, catching him mid-laugh. Heero glared at Zechs and grabbed his pillow, bringing it down hard onto Zechs' head.

"Ack! My hair!" Milliardo squealed. Heero raised an eyebrow. It would seem that Zechs would suddenly go into uber-self-conscious mode whenever Noin was around… gee I wonder why…hmm… he realized he could use this to his advantage…Zechs was still at the mirror fixing up his beloved hair.

"Oh damn these stupid jails! You'd think that they'd at least give me a comb!" he muttered as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"Boys, stop!" Noin sighed. Milliardo stood up straight immediately and cleared his throat. "I came here to bail you two out but if you insist on being total jackasses I'll leave you here!"

"How'd you hear about us being in prison and all?" Heero asked.

"Apart from the fact that it was all over late-night news, Sally called to bitch about you two when she found out and Dorothy was over the moon when she came into work today…" Noin rolled her eyes.

"Please, please bail us out!" Zechs was on his knees ?! I'm beginning to think I'm making Zechs go OOC ^^ "I couldn't stand another minute in the same room with Yuy! Who knows what he might do next?! He might dye my hair bright pink.. or even cut it!"

"No actually, that never really crossed my mind but hey, not a bad idea," Heero mused.

"See what I mean!" Zechs pointed frantically at Heero, eyes bulging, "he's a madman!"

"Okay, I'll get you out Mr. Peacecraft and you too, Yuy, but you're going to have to pay me back!"

"Just transfer it from my bank account!" Zechs said impatiently

"Zechs, remember you spent all of yours on those little Mashi Maro collector figures?" Noin reminded him gently.

"Fine- we'll pay you back! Just get us outta here!" Heero growled.

"Oh no Duo- please don't!" Sally practically begged as Duo stood up at the table with a spoonful of mash potatoes and gravy. They were eating the leftover they could salvage from the night before, for lunch that day. Duo's plastic spoon was bent backwards- a loaded catapult, aimed straight for Wufei. Wufei saw the move and drew outhis Katana Jr. menacingly. Duo got the point and sat down silently, shovelling more mashed potatoes into his mouth.

"Where's big boy Heero?" he asked, mouth full of mash.

"Eww…" Relena was repulsed at the sight of half-chewed mash in Duo's mouth.

"Err…" Sally looked away so she wouldn't have to see the sight. "They were bad big boys and had to go to the police station," she told him in a language he would understand (in other words, baby language)

"You mean they got arrested," Quatre stated simply.

"Err… yea…" Sally agreed reluctantly.

"Oh okay!" Duo smiled "I got arrested too! Heero arrested me cos I was pretending to be an aeroplane- was he pretending to be an aeroplane too?"

Sally remembered the news footage from the previous night and Milliardo making his car fly.

"Yeah! They were pretending to be aeroplanes!" Sally told them.

Do shook his head. "Bad big boy Heero…"

The policeman opened the cell door. 

"You're free to go boys," he grunted. They let out a whoop of joy ?! Haha I do that a lot eh ^^ and rushed out, getting stuck in the doorway.

"Go BACK Yuy! I was here first!" Milliardo growled

"No way in hell! Everyone knows that I'm the faster runner here! I got here first! It was so obvious!"

"No, it wasn't! Noin- who got here first?!" Milliardo was practically whining.

"Oh who cares," Noin grabbed Milliardo by the ear and pulled him through.

"Ow ow ow…" he moaned as Noin tightened her grip on his ear. Heero stumbled through after him.

"Grow up you two!" Noin hissed as she marched them outside. Milliardo whimpered half in pain, half in fear as they walked to the shiny white limo awaiting them. One thing they weren't counting on, however, was the flood of paparazzi welcoming them as they exited

"Mr Peacecraft, what do you have to say to defend your recent escapade with Mr. Yuy?" one reporter asked. Milliardo glared at him but said nothing and kept walking.

"So you have nothing to say in your defense?" the reporter pestered.

"Piss off," Heero growled.

"What about you Mr. Yuy? Aren't you at least a little remorseful for what you've done?" another reporter asked

"I'll make you remorseful if you don't shut up!" he bit back. The paparazzi flooded in around him, blinding him with those damned cameras and those friggin' annoying questions! He turned to Milliardo, who was also facing the same problem.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Heero asked, smirking.

"One time only Yuy," Zechs reminded him through clenched teeth.

"Unite against the greater evil!" Heero muttered to himself, smiling slightly. The both retracted their fists at the same time and let fly their punches.

10 minutes later and most of the members of the press were lying unconscious or twtiching on the floor and the resst of them were shitting their pants in fright. Heero dusted he hands together.

"That was a bit of a workout," he commented to Milliardo who still wasn't done with the reporter who was annoying him before. Giving him one more kick up the ass, Milliardo finally decided to leave him be.

"It was fun," Milliardo agreed. Noin stood there, surprised. Since when did Heero and Milliardo agree on anything?

"Let's…go…" she muttered finally, gesturing towards their limo ride. Zechs and Heero glared at each other before walking on.

Pagan pulled up outside the Winner mansion and Heero, Noin and Zechs climbed out. Sally was waiting on the entrance steps for them.

"WHATTHEFUCKWEREYOUTHINKINGYOUFUCKINGMORONS!? DOYOUKNOWWHATYOUCOULDVEDONE?! DOYOUREALIZEHOWMUCHTROUBLEYOUCOULD HAVEGOTTENUSINTOYOUSTUPIDBASTARDS?!" she yelled in one breath.

"Yeah, hi Sally… we're glad you're okay too…" Heero muttered sarcastically as he walked past. Milliardo merely waved as he passed, ignoring Sally's strange look. 

"Remember our deal, you two!" Noin called out. They both shuddered simultaneously. Sally looked at them both curiously.

"What's this 'deal' Miss Noin speaks off?" she asked, raising an eyebrow suspiciously.

"Umm…" Heero muttered something quickly under his breath.

"What was that Mr. Yuy? I didn't quite get that!" Sally teased.

"OKAY FINE!" Heero yelled. "ZECHS AND I HAVE TO PAY MISS NOIN BACK FOR PAYING FOR OUR BAIL AND WE HAVE TO WORK FOR HER!"

"Oh?" Sally asked curiously. "In what way?"

"We have to do the cleaning cos she's short on staff or something," Zechs muttered, blushing. Sally let out a whoop of laughter and joy.

"That's classic that is!" she laughed. She clutched her stomach because it hurt so much from laughing. She finally stood up and wiped the tears from her eyes and for the first time probably, took a proper look at Milliardo. She doubled over in laughter again.

"Shut UP Sally!" Zechs growled. Heero couldn't resist a small smile.

"What… what happened?" Sally managed to gasp out between laughs. Zechs glared at Heero.

"It's all his fault!" Zechs spat out before rushing inside to try again at rubbing it off.

"Good work Heero," Sally congratulated him before going after Milliardo to try and help him.

Heero walked inside and entered the kitchen to be met by a flying glob of mashed potato, which he had a good (and correct) suspicion came from Duo's spoon.

"There!" Duo said. "That's for being a bad bad boy!"

Heero wiped the glob of mash away from his eye with his sleeve and grabbed a can of coke from the fridge. Meanwhile in the bathroom….

"Damn… that… stupid bastard… Yuy…" Milliardo cursed between splashes of water. "Has it gone yet?" he asked Sally. Sally really didn't want to dampen his spirits, he was trying so hard… 

"Uh sure… it looks like its faded a little…" she lied a little.

"Good.. then it's working!" he said, splashing more water on his face vigorously. His pager, which was clipped to his belt, beeped. "Huh?" he wondered, taking his pager out so he could look at it. He held it at eye level and read the message. "SHIT!" he swore

"What is it now?" Sally sighed.

"I have an ESUN meeting TODAY! RIGHT NOW! IN 15 MINUTES TIME!" Milliardo yelled in distress. "I can't go out like THIS!" he raged, pointing to his wet, graffitied face. Sally stifled a laugh.

"Don't get so worked up…" she told him, producing a bottle of foundation and a little tube of concealer cream. "Now sit still and let the master work her magic!"

15 minutes later they emerged from the bathroom, Milliardo looking perfect and ready for his meeting. Heero stuck his head out of the kitchen door to see how badly Milliardo had failed in removing the permanent marker and was unpleasantly surprised.

"Aww…" he groaned in dissapointment. "He got it off…"

Milliardo merely glared as he passed and Sally smiled as she walked in.

"What did you do?" Hero whispered curiously. Not even Duo had been able to remove this kinda of ink for weeks.

"Foundation and concealer," Sally whispered back and gave a small wink.

"HAHA… no way… Zechs is wearing MAKE-UP?!" Heero exclaimed.

A.N. And there ends another dose of random craziness which sprouts from the boredom of my brain, which is, really, only there in the physical sense and doesn't serve any mental purpose ^^ Hope you enjoyed! 


	11. Everybody Has To Live With Consequences

Disclaimer: Anything that is posted here that sounds like it came from someone with a brain is purely coincidental. I have a brain only in the physical sense, which doesn't serve any mental purpose (like I said in the last chapter). Okay? Good-o! On with the madness!

A.N. AAAARRRRRHHHH!!! Many, many profuse apologies!! Sorry I haven't been updating for so long… I just hope that my reviewers haven't died yet XD…. Begging your forgiveness ppl lol…

Chapter 11

"Zechs is wearing MAKE-UP?!" Heero yelled in surprise.

"Yes! Shut up! He's extremely sensitive about it!" Sally hissed. She checked to make sure that Milliardo had gone out of earshot so they wouldn't start another pointless feud.

"This day is just too weird," Heero muttered, pushing past her and stomping upstairs. "And you might wanna be careful with Duo," he whispered out of the side of his mouth as he saw Duo eyeing what Trowa was doing. "He's developed a little fetish, shall we say, for Trowa…"

Sally raised an eyebrow as Duo began putting on that placid look again, imitating Trowa's almost exactly. "I see what you mean," she nodded wryly. He nodded before making his way upstairs. He flopped down onto his bed and cast a glance at his mirror, suddenly becoming aware that he still had his KFC shirt on.

"Shit!" he swore and quickly pulled it off. Those stupid paparazzi… they probably got a picture of him wearing this damn shirt…. damn them…then again, they probably also got a picture of Milliardo… hehehe…

His suspicions were confirmed an hour later when Milliardo burst into the room, bark raving mad after coming back from his meeting. Heero noted, with some amusement, that some of the foundation and concealer had begun to rub off.

"YUY! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!"  He shouted, spraying spit everywhere. Heero flinched as a fleck of spit grazed his cheek. Heero looked to where he was pointing on the front page of the newspaper. He stifled a laugh as he gazed upon the wonderful picture taken of Milliardo mid-punch, with his mouth open at a weird angle and everything. They also added a picture in the inset displaying Heero's wonderful "artwork". On the other side of the page was Heero walking out of the police station, head hung low as usual, sporting that bloody bright red shirt.

"I do believe Zechs, that it is what we call a newspaper," Heero replied levelly.

"I KNOW what it is Yuy! But how do explain this… publicity…?!" He sputtered out in rage. Heero scanned the page quickly.

"ROAD RAGE AND ROYAL RAGE" screamed the text heading the huge front page spread, obviously referring to Milliardo, as he was a more media-covered figure.

"Do you realize how much work this is gonna take to recover my reputation?!" Zechs yelled.

"Well I wouldn't think of that yet," Heero muttered. "We still have to work for Noin remember?"

Zechs sank to the bed in despair. "Don't remind me… please…" he sighed.

"Well we start pretty soon…" Heero went on as if he didn't hear Zechs.

"Whatever…" Zechs sighed, skulking out of the room, leaving the newspaper behind. Curious, Heero picked up the newspaper and started reading the story. 

"_People are left stunned and shocked in the wake of Mr. Peacecraft's recent behaviour. Peacecraft and a cohort of his, Heero Yuy displayed shocking disregard for the public peace when they brazenly held their own drag race along the highway, late last night.  Milliardo Peacecraft, formerly the greatest threat to the Earth, has since become a representative for ESUN, the same organisation which his sister, the former Queen Relena is vice-foreign minister…"_

Heero yawned and threw the newspaper down. This writer had no flair whatsoever. How boring… his laptop beeped signalling an incoming transmission. He rolled over in his bed, to where his laptop sat on his bedside table to receive the message. Dr J's face appeared on the screen in front of him, grinning, holding up a copy of the paper that lay at the foot of Heero's bed.

"Nice work Heero," he congratulated Heero with a grin.

"What do you want, J?" Heero growled

"Just checking to see how you were going with the kids, that's all!" Dr. J smiled.

"There's nothing to smile about old man!" Heero snapped. "You got me into this stupid mess, now you're gonna get me out!"

Dr. J smiled again, maddeningly calm at Heero's peril.

"Don't worry so much Heero- it gives you wrinkles!" he mentioned cheerfully.

"Well it's more than I can say for you…." Heero muttered under his breath. Louder, he asked, "Have you found the antidote yet?"

"Not yet!" Dr. J told him. "In fact, my brain was so stressed out last night, I decided to throw a party!" he backed away from the screen to show Heero his apartment. Heero could see Dr. H was passed out on the couch, a beer bottle in his hand, many others scattered around him. Master O and Dr G were snoring in front of the TV and Dr S had just lumbered out of the toilet, probably hung over.

"J, that was some she-bang you pulled last night, I'ma going bye bye sleepy now…" he mumbled in an almost inaudible voice before sinking to the floor. A minute later, the unholy snoring started.

"What the hell?" Heero yelled. " You had a PARTY?! I was freakin' mashed-potato'ed, coleslaw'ed, thrown up on and arrested last night and you had a PARTY?!"

"Stress less Heero- you'll live longer!" J smiled. "Besides what happened last night was your own fault. It's not my fault, you and Zechs are pointless enemies…"

"Actually, it pretty much is- considering you were the one who built the Gundams…"

"Look, that's not important," Dr. J interrupted Heero mid-sentence. "The important thing is that you keep all the chibis together until I can figure out the antidote…"

"Easier said than done…" Heero muttered semi-sarcastically. The doorbell rang and suddenly Heero paled like a ghost.

"What's wrong Heero?" Dr J asked pleasantly.

"It's Noin!" Herro whispered fiercely. "She's here! Hide me!" he ducked underneath the bedcovers. Dr J smiled amused by his antics, before he ended the transmission with a short beep.

"Heero? Heeeeerrro?" Noin hollered from the bottom of the stairs. Heero shuddered. "Don't make me come up there!" she threatened. A moment later, he heard each definite thump as Noin slowly climbed the stairs. He shivered underneath his bedcovers, hoping and praying on all things holy that she wouldn't find him. He held his breath in fear. The footsteps suddenly stopped. A second later, he heard his door crash open with a thunderous bang. He winced as she drew ever closer.

"Heero Yuy!" she thundered, and whipped the bedcovers off, revealing the crouched and quivering form of Heero Yuy. He peeped through his fingers and stifled a laugh as he surveyed Zechs' look of intense pain as Noin tightened her grip on the ear she was pulling him by.

"Ow ow ow!" Heero experienced the same pain a second later as Noin grabbed his other ear and jerked him up. Dragging them down the stairs by their ears, she stopped as she ran into Sally at the bottom of the stairs.

"Help me," Zechs silently mouthed to her in despair. Sally smiled wryly.

"Have a good time, you boys!" she sniggered.

"Oh they will," Noin replied with delicious viciousness. The both shuddered simultaneously at the thought of their eventual fate. She pulled on their ears, making them let out a yell of pain. Sally smiled as she watched Noin slap Milliardo over the head and forced him to get into the car after Heero. As they sped out of sight, Sally let out a sigh of relief.

"What are you going to make us do?" Hero asked, a nervous tremor in his voice.

"Oh you'll see," the glint in Noin's eye was pure evil. Milliardo shuddered as they pulled outside her huge mansion. "Come," she ordered them. Meekly they obeyed. She shoved a mop into Milliardo's hand and an apron into Heero's. 

"Milliardo- you'll be helping the maid clean up for my dinner engagement tonight. Heero you'll be helping in the kitchen!"

"Kit…chen…?" Heero's eyebrow quivered at the word, and he backed away slowly.

"Yes, kitchen… why?" Noin looked at him curiously. "Oh! I see," she laughed evilly. "Some's got no experience!"

Heero nodded.

"Well too bad!" she cackled and pushed him in the direction of the kitchen.

"Noin…" Milliardo just realized something. "Your dinner engagement tonight is with _me…"_

"Took ya long enough," she winked.

"N…n…no…" he stood there, a huge anime sweatdrop rolling down his face.

"Y…y…yes," she replied in a half-mocking, half-joking tone. "So if you want the best, you better work hard to make this place clean!"

"Yes ma'am!" he dashed off in a hurry. "Wait." He stopped dead in his tracks as he realized something else. "Heero is cooking my _dinner?!_"

"Ah, you muzz be ze kitchen helper, yezz?" the chef greeted Heero with a thick French accent.

"Uh… yes…" Heero replied cautiously.

"Good, good," he laughed. "I am Zamaggio. It izz about time Mizz Noin found me a replacement helper. Ze other one, 'e cut 'izzz finger off whil chopping ze zellery"

'Wonderful,' Heero thought, rolling his eyes.

"Chop chop," Zamaggio clapped his hands together. "We 'ave a lot of work to do for Mizz Noin's dinner engagement wizz zat Milliardo Peezecraft chap"

"What?" Heero asked, unsure he understood Zamaggio's accent properly. "Did you say Milliardo Peacecraft?"

"Yezz, yezz Milliardo Peezecraft," he nodded impatiently

"Hehehe…" Heero sniggered, handling a pepper shaker. "This _will _be fun…"

A.N. Yeah, this chapter was pretty much pointless but I hope it entertained you for the five minutes it took to read =)


	12. A House Full of Love

AN: WARNING: There is MAJOR OOCness in this chapter…^^ and you all know the deal with and 

Chapter 12- A House Full of Love

"Noin- I will _not _let that madman cook my dinner!" Milliardo grabbed hold of Noin's shoulders in an effort to get his point across to her. Noin calmly removed his hands, unshaken.

"Well then it's really quite simple," she replied smoothly, "don't eat"

"Don't… eat…" his eyebrow twitched furiously at the suggestionn. "NOIN!" he exploded. "I AM A GUY! AND AS A GUY, MY LIVELIHOOD DEPENDS ON STUFFING MY GUT 24/7!!"

"Well too bad, Mr. Manly," Noin cackled, "now GET TO WORK!"

He sighed and dragged the mop after him, his head hung low. "I can't believe I have to do this…" he muttered

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" she roared from down the hallway.

"Nothing…" he whimpered and slinked away. Oh the things he did for love…

"Veerry vell done Heero," Zamaggio applauded him on his very precise slicing of the onions.

"Whatever," Heero sniffed as tears rolled down his face. Noin walked in to see how the new kitchen hand was progressing.

"Wow," she commented dryly, "Heero's crying… worked too hard already? Awww pwoor widdle Heewo!" she said in a mocking/ condescending tone.

"He made me cut onions and…and…" Heero sniffed. Damn this onion gas.

"Aww… was the kitchen work too harsh for pwoor delicate Heewo's hands?" Noin sniggered.

"Shuddup!" Heero yelled, frustration bubbles appearing all over his face.

"Okay okay calm down…" she shook with barely controlled laughter.

"Grrr…" he growled and skulked off

Meanwhilst…

"Hey look I'm supposed to help you out with the cleaning of this dump," Milliardo muttered as he entered the maid's storage room where the maid on duty, Alison, was waiting.

"Oh wow!" she squealed. "Mr. Milliardo! It's such an _honour _to have you working on my staff…"

"Drop the act," he growled, rolling his eyes.

"Haha all right," she cackled. "What did you do this time?"

"I'm sure you've probably already seen it on the news," he sighed.

"Oh… THAT thing…" she sniggered. "How DOES Ms. Noin put up with you?"

"You take that back!" he yelled. "Noin loves me!"

"Ehehehe…"a large anime sweatdrop rolled down her face. "It's any wonder she does really…"

"Take that baaack," he sniffled, whimpering in the corner. Alison sighed and took a mop. She brought it speeding down onto Milliardo's head.

BASH 

"OW!" Milliardo yelled in pain, a red lump swelling where the mop hit his head. "What the hell was that for?!"

"Stop moping and get to work ya mutz!" she ordered.

"Oh yeah? Who's gonna make me?" he challenged.

"Oh no one," she smiled mildly suggestively as she drew closer to him. "I _could _use a little company, I get so lonely…" her fingers played their way up his arm. "These arms are so muscular, so strong… they would be good for cleaning or… maybe something else?" she batted her eyelashes flirtatiously

"O_kay, okay_… I'm going!" he snatched the mop and stormed out of the room, scarlet red.

"Hehehe," she sniggered, "always works…"

"Why am I doing this.. stupid Noin… has to be right all the time…"

"Do I hear you muttering again?" Alison called out in a sing-song tune from down the hallway as they mopped opposite sides of it. Milliardo stopped his mopping temporarily and turned to face her.

"Yes Alison, I am muttering because I am coming here for dinner tonight and _Heero, _my mortal enemy is cooking it- who knowas _what _kind of poison he's going to slip into it as if his cooking wasn't poisonous enough- and I am stuck cleaning the house I am visiting! What kind of shit is this?!" he complained all in one breath.

"Aren't you a little _old _to be having 'mortal enemies'?" she raised an eyebrow. "And if your muscles are getting exhausted I _could_ always…" 

"Stop doing that!" he interrupted her mid-sentence, guessing correctly how it was going to end. "I get the point already!"

"Good stuff," she winked playfully. "now BACK TO WORK!"

"Whew…I'm exhausted!" Milliardo panted after he finally finished cleaning the whole first floor.

"No time to rest yet," Alison remarked cheerfully. "We have 3 more floors to go!"

"What?" Milliardo's face was etched with incredulity. "Didn't Noin hire more cleaning staff?"

"Yeah but she gave them all a half day off so that you could repay your debt," she smiled gleefully as Milliardo's face fell further into the depths of dismay

"Repay my debt," he muttered, "it's not like she save my life or anything that warrants _this _much slave labour!"

"_You're_ telling _me_," she rolled her eyes as she polished a piece of hardwood furniture. "What's a 19-year-old girl to do?" she sighed. "Broke and cleaning in a mansion she'll never hope of owning while her friends are out there, enjoying the summer days watching movies and finding new guys… and not to mention I'm stuck with a crybaby, whining megalomaniac…"

"I am NOT a megalomaniac!" he yelled from down the hallway, frustration bubbles popping up all over his forehead, like zits. "I tried to _destroy _the Earth! How can I be a megalomaniac if I tried to destroy the Earth you stupid girl?! And…" he sniffed. "I don't whine…"

Alison opened her mouth but her sentence was interuppted as Heero ran through the room, holding a metal saucepan full of gravy.__

"Ow hot, hot, hot!" he exclaimed. "MOVE!" he yelled as he barged through. "Woah!" he lost his footing on the slippery tiled surface and, in an instant, he and the wonderfully polished white tiles were covered in gravy.

"YUY!!!!!!!!!!"

Heero sat there, stunned for a moment. "Eep," he squealed as Milliardo began to charge at him. He clambered up and started to run but tripped over a zooming ball of fur which ran straight into his feet. Milliardo caught in the momentum was also unable to halt in time and collided into Heero. Both hit their heads on the hard floor and were knocked dead unconscious.

"Uhh…" there was a pink, rough slobbery thing moving across his face… eugh… Heero lifted his arm and pushed whatever it was off. His hand met a ball of fur that, a moment later, gave out a small yelp of hurt before it scuttled away. A few seconds later, he could hear the high-pitched laughter of Milliardo.

"What the hell…" he wondered. Owch.. his head really hurt.. it was throbbing in pain. Slowly he turned to see what Milliardo found so hilarious about being soaked in hot gravy, being knocked unconscious and having to clean the hallway all over again. There, at his feet, was the little ball of fur, or well Noin's Pomeranian Lulu, licking the gravy off the soles of his feet.

"Yuy…" he squeezed out through his giggle-fits. "I'll… kill… you…!" There were tears of laughter running down his face as Lulu continued to feed on the delicious gravy. Heero stared at him for a while and shook his head in mild disbelief.

"I'll give you the benefit of doubt and say that it was concussion," he muttered as he slowly got back on his feet. "I'm outta here…"

"Oh these gravy clots are just _impossible_," Heero mumbled as he ran his fingers through his gravy-soaked hair under the running tap.

"I can't believe you dropped a pot full of gravy!" Zamaggio was fretting. "Dinner is zerrved in 15 minutes! How are ve goin to make more gravy in zat tiime?"

"Calm down… at least your hair isnt soaked… stupid Noin, has to love Milliardo and give him the shower… WHY doesn't she have any other showering facilities around here… its not like she's soO poor…" Heero muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Don't vorry about zee gravy clots… they're the same colour azz your 'air, it camouflages perfectly, hohoho!" he chortled

"Shut UP!" Heero growled as he scrubbed more vigorously.

"Noin! These gravy stains are blotching my beautiful blonde hair! Its going to be a shitty brown colour… like Yuy's!"

"Calm down and stop fidgeting!" Noin gave him a quick sharp slap to keep him still.

"Ow…" Milliardo whined, rubbing his very sore, very red cheek. Noin squirted more conditioner and worked it up into a lather. Lulu trotted into the bathroom, fluffly tail held high, tongue out panting gleefully.

"Get that evil dog away from me!" Milliardo screamed and leapt back. Unfortunately, Noin was still in the process of massaging the conditioner in and her finger slipped, depositing a substantial amount of conditioner into Milliardo's eye.

"AAAARGH!" he screamed in pain. "The pain- it's searing my eye! My beautiful eye!"

"This coming from a guy who piloted Tallgeese, took on most of OZ, and blew up the Epyon while he was still in it…" Noin sighed as she picked up Lulu. Milliardo was still running around blindly, as his vision was temporarily disabled, banging off walls and crashing into mostly everything.

CRACK 

"Dammit! Bloody porcelain toilet! Damn that bloody moron Yuy!" he cursed as his shin collided with the toilet bowl. "If the toilet's here, then the sink must be…" he groped his way towards the sink. "OW!" the corner of the medicine cabinet dug into his forehead.

"Oh sit down and I'll get it out for you!" Noin snapped formidably forcing him down onto the stool.

"Yes ma'am," he replied meekly.

_Ding ding ding._

"Ze dinner bell. Zat muzzt mean zat Mizz Noin izz ready to be served." Zammagio noted as he whisked up a bowl of soup. "Come on Yuy. She did not pay for your bail for you to worry about your hair!" he laughed as he exited the kitchen. Heero rolled his eyes and picked up the other bowl of soup. Then he remembered the pepper shaker… hehehe… unscrewing the lid, he carefully tipped in small amounts, stirring it in slowly before adding more until the whole shaker was empty.

"YUY!" Milliardo boomed from the dining room, whilst banging on the table. "Where is my soup?!"

"It's coming, it's coming," Heero grumbled. He carried the soup out and set it on the table roughly, causing some of the soup to spill out into Milliardo's lap. Milliardo opened his mouth, obviously to start yelling at Heero but a steely glare from Noin silenced him. He slowly lifted the spoon. Heero watched in anticipation. 

"_Ait- choo!" _the pepper had finally gotten into Milliardo's nose and the force from his sneeze blew the soup right out of his speen and into Noin's face.

"Arh…" Noin wiped her wet face with a napkin.

"That's IT Yuy, you WILL PAY! Mwahahahahaha…" Milliardo grabbed a mop and pointed it threateningly into Heero's face. Heero grabbed a saucepan.

POKE 

_CRASH_

_BONK_

_CLANG _this is beginning to sound like one of me and Judy's computer fights lolz

"STOP IT!" Noin stood up between the both of them. Thanks to their superb reflexes, they managed to halt their attacks in time. Milliardo because he obviously didn't want to hurt the woman he loved and Heero because, well, she was a "friend" in the strictest sense of the word. "You are driving me crazy!"

"With love?" Milliardo asked hopefully. She glowered so lividly, he immediately shut up and shrunk down.

"Both of you are going into the basement until you guys sort out this pointless feud!" she growled. She was so angry, neither of them dared to argue. She quickly hustled them into the dark and dank basement. They tumbled down the steps, landing hard on the stone floor. The room was scantily lit buy a solitary, drity lightbulb which hung from a string in the middle of the ceiling.

"This is all YOUR fault Yuy!"

"As if it is!" Heero snapped. "You were the one who threatened me with a mop!"

"Yeah?" I wouldn't have done it if you didn't pepper my soup!"

"It's not my fault you're such a dickhead!"

"What are you talking about? YOU started the drag race AND you graffitied my face!"

"Oh look… liquor," Heero noticed a few crates of imported wine laying a few feet away from them, trying to get Milliardo's attention from what he had done.

"Hmm.. Knowing Noin, it would be… imported Italian or French red wine…"

"I could go for some," Heero cracked the crate open and grabbed a bottle. He uncorked it and started drinking straight from the bottle.

"Hey! Don't hog it all for yourself!" 

"Get your own!" Heero swung the bottle out of his reach.

"Fine then- I will!" Milliardo reached into the crate and dug out another bottle. He uncorked his as well and took a long swing out of it and pretty soon, they were drunk as anything. Empty wine bottles littered the floor and the crate was almost emptied by now.

"Ya know Noin's gonna be very annoyed," Milliardo told Heero, who was sitting next to him, in a slurred tone

"I don't care…" Heero took another gulp of wine

"Just like you don't care about my siiister," Milliardo rambled

"I do care about haer…" Heero's voice was so slurred, his words were barely intelligible.

"Theen… then… why don't you ever kisssh her?"

"Because…" Heero leaned over and whispered something into Milliardo's ear

"You WHAT?!" Milliardo yelled, unaware how loud his drunken voice was. "You don't have any experience?!"

Heero's face reddened more than it already was because of the high content of alcohol in his blood.

"No need to tell China…" he muttered, tipsying over as he finished the bottle and grabbed another. Milliardo's raucous, drunken laughter echoed around the room.

"That's funny!" he exclaimed, tears of laughter in his eyes.

"How is it?" Heero yelled.

"Come here," Milliardo wriggled closer to Heero, "And I will show you how!"

"Are ya serious? Cool!" Heero was obviously not himself. Milliardo grabbed the back of Heero's head and drew him closer…closer… their lips were almost touching…

The door flew open.

"I hear some strange noises down…" Noin began. Then she saw what was going on and screamed. They parted immediately.

"You… him?! WHAT?!" Noin shrieked.

"Oh it's okay Noin honey," Milliardo tried to stand up but the alcohol in his bloodstream prevented him from doing so. "I was just teaching Heero here how to…"

"I KNOW!" she yelled. "OMFUG! my fave word ^^" she cried as she looked around the room. "My imported wine!"

"Now there's a very good explanation for this, Noin," Heero laughed as he gulped down more. "And that is… and that is…" He fell over before he finished his sentence. A second later, they could hear the snoring.

"Don't leave without me!" Milliardo lay hiself next to Heero and knocked off as well.

Heero opened his eyes. They were so sore…he rubbed his eyes until his vision cmae back to him. He was lying in some sort of alleyway…how'd he get here? What happened last night? He remembered the gravy… then the soup… the mop… what happened after that? He turned towards the person next to him. Milliardo's bare chest rose and fell to the rhythm of his breathing. Heero poked him. He didn't stir. Heero sighed and swung a punch at his face. But the alcohol had imparied his aim and his fist struck the concrete, drawing a lot of blood, knowing the speed and strength of Heero's punches. 

"SHIT!" he swore, trying to shake off the pain. "DAMNIT!"

The din he made finally awoke Milliardo. Crawling off into a corner, he threw up for at least 10 minutes. 

"Brr.." Heero noticed it was extremely cold. One glance at Milliardo and himself told him why.

"NOIN!" he yelled.

"Haha Heero, you're nudie!" Milliardo laughed.

"So are you!" Hero snapped back. They looked at each other.

"Oh shit"

A.N.: Totally random I know… and I managed to write that much lol o.O major achievement for me ^^! Don't waste it- please review!! ^^ you know you want to ^_~


	13. Along Main Street One Day

A.N. Just the usual deal with and … and also… I've apparently been grounded for a YEAR O_O…because of my crappy report… and yeah… no net access at home so all my net activity has to happen at school… which means that I don't think I'll be able to update as much… but I'll try! AND NO MSN!!! WOE WITH ME!!!

Chapter 13

"Heero," Milliardo said through clenched teeth. "What are we going to do?"

"I've never been trained to handle any of this," Heero growled, grabbing a garbage can 

"Well I don't think Dr. J ever you to be needing experience in this kind of situation," Milliardo noted with some amusement.

"Well it's that bloody old man's fault I'm in this situation in the first place!" Heero grimaced and thought of what he was going to do when he got hold of that conniving, scheming, just plain evil bastard…

"Yeah I think we got bigger worries than that right now," Milliardo rolled his eyes.

"This isn't one of those things where we have to co-operate is it?" Heero looked at Milliardo skeptically

"Well we're in the same boat aren't we Yuy? Believe me, if someone had to see me naked, you're right at the bottom of my list…"

"You have a list of people who you want to show your naked body to?" Heero couldn't help but have a bit of humour at Milliardo's expense. Milliardo reddened.

"How did we get like this anyway?" he mused

"I can make a good bet it was Noin," Heero replied drily. "Do you remember a thing about last night?"

"Nope- too hung over…" Milliardo replied. "Omfug, my headache…" he clutched his head and for the first time, Heero noticed the dark brown blotches which stained Milliardo's long, blonde hair- the gravy. He sniggered quietly to himself.

"What's so amusing Heero?" Milliardo snapped.

"Nothing," Heero told him, a small smile on his face. Extrememly suspicious as to what could make the Perfect Soldier actually smile, Milliardo ran to the first shop window and stared at the reflection

"Wait Zechs, you forgot your…" Heero held up and old newspaper for Milliardo to cover what Mother Nature blessed him with but it was too late. The woman getting her hair cut in the window seat got a full blast of nature's "true" glory and screamed blue murder.

"Oh help us all! It's a perverted flasher!" she cried, covering her eyes. Heero sighed.

"I tried to warn you," he shrugged. But that was the least of Milliardo's worries.

"MY HAIR! MY BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL HAIR!" he shrieked. "AND MY FACE!" he realized that the foundation and concealer that Sally had laboriously applied to his face, had rubbed off, showcasing Heero's artwork to the fullest extent. In total hysterics, Milliardo quickly rushed into the barber shop and hurriedly sat himself down into  the first seat, pushing the other traumatised lady off.

"Quickly! CUTMYHAIRCUTMYHAIRSHAVETHEDAMNGRAVYOFF!" Milliardo ordered in one breath.

"What?" the hairdresser backed away from the chair slowly.

"MYHAIRMYHAIR!" Milliardo babbled. He grabbed the scissors and shoved them into the scared hairdresser's hands. "NOWNOWNOW!"

"Uhh…" the hairdresser glanced nervously around.

"Police?" one of the other hairdressers had called the police. "There is a perverted madman and flasher threatening our customers! Please send an animal control team or SOMETHING over here… now!"

"Wow Noin, this place is really clean!" Sally remarked as she stepped into Noin's spacious mansion. "Milliardo's work?"

"Yep!" Noin beamed happily. "It's amazing what those two can do when they are forced to"

"Where are they now actually?" Sally wondered. She wasn't hearing the usual banging and crashing, yells or taunts. Noin paused for a moment before she walked over to the TV and switched it on.

"We are coming to you live, where there have been reports of not one but _two _flashers running down Main Street!" the reporter's voice blared from her surround-sound system. Sally stared at her friend incredulously. Noin shrugged.

"They had it coming to them," she shrugged. Sally raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Oh come ON Sally," Noin implored, "they drank my imported WINE!"

"Ah"

Noin sniggered as Milliardo dashed across the screen yelling "NOIN!!"  as he went, tailed by a small group of police officers. A few seconds later, Heero appeared on screen and a succession of short bleeps followed.

"I gotta hand it to ya Noin," Sally sighed. "Nothing like a bit of shock therapy"

"I am going to kill Noin when we get back!" Heero growled

"_If _we get back!" Milliardo replied, as he glanced frantically over his shoulder. The cops were quickly gaining on him. He picked up the pace and Heero followed, always careful to conceal what Mother Nature had blessed him with. "Where exactly are we Zechs?"

"We're along Main St you fool!" Zechs yelled. He turned around. "Heero?" Heero was nowhere in sight. Zechs sighed. "This so figures…"

A few seconds later, Zechs spotted him motioning to him from a side alley. Zechs quickly ran over to Heero, who had found a more efficient way to cover himself than a garbage can lid.

"_Crispy Buns- Hot and Fresh_?" Milliardo read the sign that Heero was wearing, before bursting out in fits of laughter. "Good one Heero!" he snorted.

"Shut UP," Heero growled. "It was the only one I could find!"

Milliardo was still laughing.

"It's better than your face and hair," Heero told him bluntly. That shut him up. They sat there for a while, saying nothing.

"Do you think the cops have given up yet?" Milliardo asked after a while.

"Only one way to find out," Heero told him. He cautiously stood up and edged his way out slowly. He immediately ducked back in as a police car raced past. "I'm guessing not!"

Milliardo sighed. "I can't believe Noin would do this to _me…_the love of her life!" he cried as streams of anime tears started to flow down his still-graffitied face. Heero sighed

"You really overestimate your importance in her life you know..."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Milliardo asked. "I _am _the most important thing in her life!"

"You know, I'm really going to regret this, but I'll let you in on something," Heero told him, "Noin is feeling less and less significant in your life as you go running around, fixing up that terraforming on Mars shit and always at ESUN meetings… you're always too busy for her…she feels like she's not good enough for you anymore…"

"What the hell are you on about? And what would you know anyway, oh he-of-the-stoic-face-and-heart?" Milliardo snapped.

"I know more than you think I know," Heero replied, "and when was the last time you sent her anything?"

"Omigosh…" Milliardo gasped. "You're so right! I'll pay more attention to her from now on! I love you Heero!" he threw his arms around Heero in a "friendly" hug.

"Eh…" a massive anime sweatdrop ran down Noin's face as she watched Milliardo hug Heero, in all his naked glory, on live television.

"Get away from me!" Heero shoved Milliardo off him. "Gay freak…"

"I AM GOING TO THE FLORIST RIGHT NOW! TO GET MY LADY A DOZEN RED ROSES!" Milliardo stood up, striking the superhero pose.

"Fly, Superman, fly…" Heero muttered sarcastically.

"I will!" Milliardo marched determined to the florist across the road.

"Wait Zechs… you're…oh well I tried…" Heero shurgged and sat back to watch the fun. A second later, indignant honking echoed from all the way down Main St. Heero sniggered as Milliardo strode into the florist

"Look here you!" Milliardo slammed his fists onto the counter in determination, scaring the young sales person. "I want to get a dozen red roses for my beautiful lady and          I want them now!"

"Uh…sir… I'm not allowed to serve you…" the young sales person stammered out. "You're uh… not dressed in the proper…fashion… I'm not allowed to serve you sir!" she rushed quickly, her eys squeezed tightly shut. He leaned forward onto the counter and grabbed her collar threateningly.

"Get me a dozen roses or I'll…" he said trying to look menacing.

"UGH!" she pushed him away in a surprising show of strength. He stumbled backwards into a pot of lilies behind him, toppling the pot onto him and drenching him through.

"What the…?" he tried to get out of the way of the lilies but slipped on the water and fell forward into the gerberas. His face buried in the pot, he stumbled around blindly as he tried to remove it from his head.

"No sir! Don't go that way! The rose disp…!"

But it was too late…

CRASH 

Milliardo had collided with the huge rose display near the window as he popped the bucket off his head.

Outisde, Heero was watching the action and mayhem from a safe distance, still wearing his _Crispy Buns- Hot and Fresh _sign. He sniggered to himself as he watched Milliardo stagger around blindly the shop. He suddenly became aware of a deafening whirring noise overhead. He looked up to see an old OZ helicopter descending dangerously onto Main St. More honking and confusion ensued as oncoming traffic tried to swerve out of the way of the helicopter. This unsuccesful action resulted in a 10 car pile-up on either sid of the road.. The helicopter landed heavily in the middle o the road and the tinted glass rolled down, revealing the pilot

"Heero!" Trieze yelled over the noise. "Get in!"

Heero had never been more glad to see Trieze in his life.

"Where's Zechs?" Trieze asked.

Milliardo saw the helicopter land and knew that it could only be one person.

"Trieze! Wait for me!" Milliardo hastily got up, gathering the roses on the ground to cover himself as he ran to the road.

He clambered into the helicopter, still covered in roses.

"Boy am I glad to see you," Milliardo told Trieze breathlessly.

"Same here," Trieze wa eyeing Milliardo rather closely. "Ah… you're naked _and _you're covered all over in roses and really sexy cuts… have you been reading my diar…I MEAN, here's a jacket…ahem…" he went a deep scarlet as he tossed Milliardo a spare jacket.

Despite the sudden warmth that the jacket brought, Milliardo felt a shudder go down his spine as they lifted off.

A.N. I am SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO sorry I didn't update for like AGES…. I've got like so much homework and I had a really bad writer's block.. not to mention my shitty year so far but I hope it doesn't reflect too badly in my writing =) 


	14. Reunion! And Possibly A Surprise

A.N. Forgiveness please! [ said in weird Simpsons quote voice ]…. Havent updated for so long!! Aa… all my reviewers are dead already?! xX… im sorry… bows lack of inspiration plus A LOT of unfun things that have been happening to me lately (some of which includes- getting ditched by my two former best friends at the same time, for no apparent reason, getting caught for jigging and exams) have resulted in this late arrival (I swear too much shit happens in my life). So as you can most probably see by things listed above, I wasn't in a very haha mood for a while… I know its no excuse…but I'll try my best to finish off this story! bows apologetically

Usual deal with and 

Chapter 14- Reunion?! (And Possible A Surprise)

"Easy…easy…" she muttered to herself as she tentatively brought the opened pliers slowly towards the wire.

"MISS UNE!!" someone screamed from the doorway. She jumped in shock and inadvertedly clamped the pliers closed on the wire, causing the dummy bomb that she had been trying to defuse for the past 15 minutes to explode. She turned around slowly, her face black and charred from the small amount of explosive powder contained in said bomb, her eyebrow twitching furiously. In the doorway, she met the sight of a young boy with a curious wire meshing strapped around his nose, wearing a fluro pink t-shirt…he looked strangely familiar…

"MISS UNE!! MISS UNE!! MISS UNE!!" he bounced up and down joyfully, his plait swinging gaily behind his back…. _plait?! _She stared at him for a few moments. Did Duo have a love child he forgot to mention? Hmm… she really wouldn't put it past him…

"Wait till Hilde hears about this," she said to herself as she went over to pick up mini-Duo.

"Wait till I hear about what?" Hilde appeared in the doorway. She caught a glance of the playful little creature in Lady Une's arms.

"OH!" she squealed. "HOW ADORABLE!" she rushed over and snatched him off Lady Une. "What's your name, little man?" she asked.

"Duo!" he giggled.

"WHA-?!"she exclaimed in surprise, and accidentally dropped him on top of the next unfortunate person to walk in…

"MAXWELL!" tiny China man (aka Wufei) sorry, randomness just happens =P howled in anger, as he struggled to climb out from beneath Duo's ass.

"Hehe, that was fun! Do it again! Do it again!" Duo squealed, bouncing up and down, forgetting that Wufei was still underneath him.

"Ow! OW! _OW!" _Wufei yelled after Duo landed each time in a different place of his spine. Lady Une winced as she heard the cracks, and hastily snatched Duo up off Wufei.

"Oh… hehe…" Duo said as he saw the bemoaning figure of Wufei on the ground, still trying to straighten out his spine. "Sorry Wuf-wuf!"

"Don't… call…me…that!" Wufei hissed through gritted teeth

"Wuf-wuf! Wuf-wuf! It's just like a dog! Wuf-wuf! Wuf-wuf!" Duo antagonsized Wufei relentlessly. Obviously the 'dog' thing was a bit too far for Wufei and he launched into attack on Duo. Grabbing his plait, he mounted onto Duo's back and started to ride him like a horse.

"How you like that eh? How you like being a common animal?" Wufei taunted.

"I think it's cool!" Duo started galloping on all fours in circles. After a few minutes, and with Une too busy trying to keep Hilde from fainting, Duo stopped suddenly, with Wufei still on his back looking very sick indeed but Duo showed no signs of ill-effect.

"Neeiiiggghhhh!" Duo brayed and baked up onto his "hind legs" imitating a horse, throwing poor unfortunate Wufei off. Duo then turned to where he was lying on the floor trying to tide over his nausea and started licking Wufei's face.

"Now I'm a doggie!" Duo squealed

"Get OFF ME YOU BAKA!" Wufei yelled.

"Okay then," Duo desisted, still beaming. "But now you gotta lick me!" ok is it just me or is my mind getting worse?!

"Duo! There you are!" Sally rushed in and picked him up. "Sorry you guys, he kinda got away from me. Naturally Wufei followed, with the vow to hunt him down and reclaim his 'honour' and the rest of the story tells itself I think…"

"Oh dear…" Noin hurried to where Wufei was still lying on the floor. "He looks sick…" she prodded him lightly with her finger and got a small moan. "Reeeaaally sick"

"Here," Sally threw her a pill bottle towards Noin, "give him two of these, he should be right"

"Okay," Noin popped open the bottle and gave Wufei two tablets. Immediately he perked up, looking all smiley and radiant.

"I think they worked Sally," Noin smiled. But that smile disappeared a moment later, when Wufei (still smiling and radiant) threw up his lunch onto the carpet.

"Oh no!" Une quickly grabbed the still smiling Wufei and shoved him in the toilet. For a few minutes after that they heard the sound of flushing toilet and Wufei coughing. By this time, the rest of the chibis had come inside. Wufei came out of the toilet, still smiling.

"Wufei, what's there to smile about? You've just been throwing up for the past five minutes or so," Trowa said.

"I don't know. I really want to kill that baka Duo but for some reaon I'm feeling all happified and gladsome!" Wufei giggled

"I'm getting scared," Quatre whispered to Trowa.

"Noin, let me see the bottle," Sally asked. Noin tossed her the bottle and Sally's eyes widened as she read the label

"Oh no…look," she turned the bottle around so that everyone could read the label "I accidentally gave him happy pills!"

"Happy pills?"

"Well its meant for depression… adult depression… and they're only meant to take half a tablet per five hours…!"

"And I gave a five-year-old kid TWO!? Speaking of which, why are you carrying around depression tablets?" Noin asked inquisitively

"Heero"

"Ah"

"Yay…" Une muttered. "Two Duos"

"Two Duos?" Duo perked up and wriggled out of Une's arms. "Yay! Join the fun Wufei! You're like me now!" he exclaimed happily and grabbed Wufei's arms. "Ring-a-ring-a-rosie, a pocket full of posie, atishoo atishoo, we all fall DOWN!"

"Stop it Duo," Wufei giggled.

"Oh but you look like you're having fun there," Duo grinned and started again. "Ring-a-ring-a-rosie, a pocket full of posie, atishoo atishoo, we all fall DOWN!"

"Duo you baka," Wufei was still smiling. "Stop it or I will kill you!" he laughed rather cutely

"Wow…" Sally commented drily, "that threat has lost all impact"

"Who's threatening what now?" Heero walked in the door, clothed in a pair of old jeans and a sweatshirt.

"Oh don't worry," Sally sighed. "Say where did you get that outfit anyway? You look like a hobo…"

"Milliardo's old stuff," Heero grumbled, shooting a glare at Sally for that last comment.

"Speaking of which, where is he?" Noin inquired. Before he could reply, he was tackled down by Relena

"Heero!" she squealed, hugging him tightly around the neck.

"Agh, agh,… get it off me!" Heero flailed on the floor, trying to pry her 5-year-old fingers from around his neck. "Omae…o...korosu!" he choked out

"Oh Heero you're so sweet!" she said and hugged him even harder. His eyes bugged out and his face began to go blue from the lack of oxygen.

"Relena honey, let go of the scary hobo-man," Noin sniggered, "I think he's been through enough for today," she winked.

"Damn straight I have," Heero growled as he rubbed his red-sore neck as he stood up. "I swear there are going to be bruises there with her fingerprints. Me and Zechs will probably never be able to show ourselves in public again…"

"Really? I thought you did a pretty good job of _that _today," Noin sniggered. Heero glared. "Uh anyway…" she moved along quickly, "where's Milliardo?"

"Oh he's coming," Heero smiled a little to himself. Moments later, Milliardo stumbled in, still relatively naked and covered in roses.

"What the…?!" Noin asked bewildered.

"Hush, darling one," Milliardo told her, putting on a bravado voice. He took her hand and looked deep into her eyes. "Lucrezia Noin," he asked, sinking onto one knee, "would you do me the honour of… GODDAMN!!" he cursed in pain and quickly sprung back up and started howling in pain, pulling the roses out of his knee (he'd forgotten roses had thorns)

" 'Would you do me the honour of Goddamn?' Real classy proposal that was," Heero rolled his eyes.

"Shut UP Yuy! I didn't know roses had thorns!"

"So it's true what they say about blondes then… or well… not really, since your hair is more of a gravy brown right now…"

"Oh be quiet!" Milliardo yelled, frustration bubbles apearing across his face again. "Well what I'm trying to say is…

Noin, will you marry me?"

--

A.N. Sorry for any typos or net lingo or made-up words… I am a very fast yet inaccurate typer and my spellcheck detests me (besides I'm working on school computers so yeah…), as for the net lingo, I am a massive net junkie and sometimes write assignments and stuff in total net lingo, then realize what I've done and have to go retype the whole thing (all my net lingo is saved into my Word dictionary at home)..oh well


	15. A Little More Fun

A.N. Okay, if this chapter comes out really late, this is just a note to say that I started it uber-early, but got side-tracked by things that probably haven't happened yet but most probably will =P… wow I've lost so many reviewers already hinthint haha jokes… =P I can understand if you're too lazy to review…pouts only 3 reviews last time throws anime tantrum haha…oh and I should warn you that Treize gets pretty OOC… -

Still the same deal with and 

Chapter 15- A Little More Fun/ You Fag! No offence meant ok? -

"Uh…" Noin stuttered, totally stunned by this sudden proposal. "Well…I…uh…"

"Oh come on Noin, just say yes already, so that Milliardo can get some actual clothes on and not have roses stuck to his naked body!" Une told her, slightly impatiently. "The sight of Treize drooling over there doesn't exactly fill me with confidence either…" she rolled her eyes, pointing to the figure of Treize, who was standing behind Heero in the corridor. Sorry, Kitsuri-Shukun! -v

"Hmm," Noin pondered. She saw the impatience on everyone's faces and Milliardo standing there, somehow keeping roses attached to his body while wearing nothing. She smiled. "I'll think about it".

Everyoe fell over anime-style.

Une sighed. "Milliardo, go upstairs, for the love of Pete, get those roses off, and change!"

"Yeah, that's a good idea," Treize agreed enthusiastically. "I'll just go upstairs and help him!" he started up the stairs after Milliardo ok…just so I don't go too far…what is this rated again? Haha joking =P

"Oh no ya don't," Une grabbed him by the back of his collar. "You sit down"

"Yes ma'am," Treize meekly obeyed and sank into a seat nearby, in silence. A short yell of pain, followed by a long string of profanity echoed from upstairs, probably as Milliardo attempted to pull all the roses out of his body.

"Milliardo needs me!" Treize shot up out of his chair and made for the stairs but once again Une was too quick for him and this time, she tied him firmly to the chair using thick, strong steel cord.

"Oh come on Lady Une," Treize pleaded with her as she tightened the rope, just for spite. "You don't have to do this, you can trust MEEE," he put on his sweet begging voice.

"Never heard him use that tone of voice before," Heero muttered

"You weakling!" Wufei giggled. "You're begging a woman to let you go!"

"What is wrong with him…?" Treize asked bewildered, looking at the giggling form of his formerly formidable foe.

"No more than what's wrong with you, believe me," Une told him drily, rolling her eyes. "What is taking Milliardo so long anyway?" she yelled up the stairs, hoping that Milliardo would take the hint. The bedroom door opened and Milliardo stuck his head out, a couple of roses still hopelessly tangled in the tragic mess that was formerly recognisable as his hair.

"You try pulling roses out of your beautiful delicate skin and see how long it takes YOU Une!"

"For Pete's sake, man! You're pulling them out, not GROWING THEM!" she retorted

"Oh shut up," he sniffed, "It's not my fault that SOME OF US like to put some EFFORT into our appearances!" he slammed the door in a huff, and didn't manage to get his nose out of the way of the closing door in time. Everyone downstairs winced as they heard the crack and much swearing. A few seconds later they heard a nasally distorted voice from the room assuring them-

"I am OK!"

Noin sighed. "That's it- I'm gonna go up there and help him pluck those damn roses off! You may even say I'm _deflowering _him, hohoho!" she added mischeviously, getting blank looks from the kids and incredulous stares from most of the adults.

"Deflowering? I like flowers! Heero, how do you deflower?" Relena asked Heero, waiting expectantly for a reply damn I make these kids say the wrongest things…lol…and say flower for a while, it starts sounding really weird… ANYWAY….

"Uh…" Heero stuttered at a total lost for words.

"Don't ask him, he wouldn't know anything about it," Sally chortled,earning herself a death glare. "Noin, you're terrible!" she laughed and smacked her over the back of her head.

"What did I do?" Noin protested her feigned innocence and grinned as she made her way upstairs to assist Milliardo in his plight.

As she progressively worked her way up the stairs, the profanity got louder and worse.

"Milliardo?" she called out, as she drew closer.

"Yes, darling one?" he replied, "!#$%&()%!#%!!" he swore as two more roses came out.

"I'm going to come in there and help you okay?" she told him as she slowly turned the knob to enter the room.

"Uh… no! No, sweet pet, don't you worry your pretty little head about these things. I am a man, I can handle these troublesome little flowers!" he told her through clenched teeth as he pulled out another few from his leg. More swearing and cursing ensued.

"Are you sure? Cos you sound like you're in trouble there," she asked again

"Don't you worry honey, I'll…be…fine…!#$%&()&%$!!"

"Uh…okay then," she shrugged and made her way downstairs. If he could blow up a Gundam and face most of OZ's mobile suit in his Tallgeese, then surely he could handle a few plants, right?

"Hey Noin, that's pretty quick for a deflowering," Sally commented as Noin made her way downstairs. "Done so fast?"

"Oh haha," she retorted sarcastically, plonking herself into a seat next to the now bound AND gagged Treize. She looked at him curiously. Somehow in the time she took to climb upstairs and down, he had managed to get himself gagged. "Anyway," she continued, "Milliardo's convinced that he's enough of a man to handle a few roses, so…" she shrugged, "I just left him to it."

"Are you sure?" Treize somehow managed to talk through the gag. "He may be in trouble! He may be bleeding to death as we speak! He needs me! I'm coming Milliardo!" he started hopping (still tied to the chair) in the direction of the stairs and managed to get a few steps before he overbalanced and fell over on his face. "Owww…" he moaned.

"Treize, what is wrong with you?" Noin pulled him upright and took the gag out of his mouth so he could talk. She looked at him curiously waiting for an answer.

"Well…I…uh…" Treize sat squeemishly uncomfortable under Noin's gaze, avoiding her eyes. "You see Noin…Milliardo is so… he's… well… he's just so uh…close to me! Yeah! He's just such a close friend of mine…yeah! I just wouldn't want to see him uh… struggling and in pain cos I love him… AS A FRIEND!" he added quickly, realizing what he had just said out loud.

"Oh because the peril of the deadly evil roses is too much for little Milly-Willy to handle!" Noin taunted, putting on a baby voice. They paused as yet another wave of profanity streamed down the stairs from his room.

"It would seem so!" Treize replied, as he struggled to get to the stairs that were separating him from his fantas…good friend! -

"You're such a fag Treize," Heero growled.

"Well excuuuse me, but what did I ever do to you to deserve that title? You're a fag!" Treize protested indignantly. "Just cos I was leader of OZ and tried to kill you guys…" he sniffed, "But I thought that was all past us now… your words hurt Heero, they hurt more than the sight of a shoddy manicure…"

"Uh…" a giant collective anime sweatdrop ran down everyone's faces ok I really don't know if that sentence made ANY sense.

"See, that's exactly what I mean- you're a fag!"

"Treize is a fag, Treize is a fag!" Wufei and Duo joined hands ?! and started skipping round Treize in a circle, chanting in an annoying sing-song voice.

"You know," Sally commented as she observed Wufei interacting with Duo, "I'm always telling him to lighten up and to be more human… well never again…" she looked kinda scared of the little Wufei so filled with joy and happiness.

"Aww but he's so cute," Noin bent down to pinch his cheeks.

"Get away from me baka onna!" Wufei giggled.

"Or what are you gonna do? Grin me to death?" Noin teased. Wufei "glared" at her, although under the influence of happy pills, the look turned out more like puppy-dog eyes- a look which didn't really fit on him, but looked extremely cute nonetheless.

"Aww…" she squealed and glomped affectionately uber-hugged the little chibi.

"Oh stop teasing Noin," Sally told her, "I'm beginning to think that YOU'RE loaded on happy pills!"

"HEY!" Treize had to yell to get their attention again. "Back to why Heero called me a fag!"

"Oh yeah…" they all suddenly remembered that Treize was still there.

"So?" he asked, demanding an explanation, "Why did you call me a fag Heero? What does it mean?!?!"

"Urbandictionary.com," Heero replied simply.

-- Five minutes later--

Noin sat in front of the computer, waiting impatiently for urbandictionary.com to load. The rest were crowded around her (with the exception of Milliardo, who was still battling the flowers upstairs), all eyes on the loading screen

"Come on! Come ON!" Noin banged the mouse on the table impatiently.

"NOIN! Don't abuse the mouse!" Une told her, "My poor mouse!"

"Is it just me, or is everyone really really weird today?" Noin bit back, slightly frustrated. "And WHY do you have AOL? I'll be lucky if my kids don't grow up before this loads!"

"Well SORRY, but it was cheaper!"

"Ever wondered why?"

"The page has loaded," Heero cut in to stop them bickering… between Duo trying to be an aeroplane and those two bickering he'd choose Duo's aeroplane-ness hurrah for made up words! any day…well… that really depends… ANYWAY…

"Okay…" Noin scrolled down the page, looking at the various definitions of the word 'fag'. "Well, in this context, the word 'fag' could either mean…_ "A word used by ignorant homophobic teenage males to describe anybody/thing but themselves. This is almost always in a subconscious attempt to prove that they are not gay; everybody around them is" _or "_A word describing a male of a homosexual persuasion"_. This makes enough sense…"

"What's that implying?!" Treize yelled from the corner his chair was placed in.

"Basically, Heero you're an ignorant homophobic teenage male, who wants to prove they're, or well…you're not gay…and Treize, according to this, you're gay"

"WHAT?!" both of them yelled in unison

"I'm not gay!" Treize burst out into tears.

"Omae o korosu computer!" Heero took his pistol out of nowhere and aimed it at the computer. well hey, what kind of Gundam Wing fic would it be if Heero didn't threaten to kill something at least once huh?? -

"Heero! NoO…" Une saw what Heero was about to do and threw herself in front of the computer as Heero fired. She grunted and fell into a heap on the floor.

"Heero!" Sally cried, shocked that he would actually shoot. Well really, in retrospect, she was pretty much expecting it but…still!

Une looked up from where she was lying on the floor. "Hey… I'm fine!"

"Huh?" Heero emptied out the ammo and inspected it closely.

"It's a good thing Relena and I decided to replace your bullets with blanks earlier," Quatre piped up.

"You…what?!" Heero yelled. "Wait till I get my hands on you…!"

"Eep," Quatre squeaked before beginning to run for his life. He dodged Heero's first attack and started to run as fas as he could hoping that Heero wouldn't catch up.  They all winced as they heard various noises and crashes resounding from different parts of the house. A series of loud crashes followed by loud profanity (other that Milliardo's) in close succession told Une that they had just crashed her crystal miniatures collection room (literally). Soon after, Quatre came skidding back into the room and took cover behind Noin. Heero walked in, panting for breath.

"Damnit, the Perfect Soldier can't even keep up with a runty 5-year-old pacifist anymore!" Heero cursed. "I must be getting really out of shape," he groaned. "Ah," he eyes lit up as he caught sight of his prey, hiding behind Noin. He advanced slowly, Quatre shivered in fright and hid even more behind Noin. "Come here," Heero said, almost maliciously, but was stopped by Noin's harsh glare.

"Fine, whatever," he dropped his arms and resumed his normal stoic position.

"I AM NOT GAY!" Treize was still throwing his little tantrum.

"Put the damn gag back in…" Heero growled. A little wrestling ensued as Noin attempted to stuff the gag back in his mouth.

"Ow! You fag!" she yelled in pain as he bit her on the hand as a last resort

"Don't call me… mrrrph mrrgh!" Treize's protest was stifled by the stuffage of gag in mouth woot go me, another made up word. He just resigned to looking pissed in the end.

"You know what," Une mused, "I think I have the perfect solution to this little…problem…"

"Oh?" Sally raised an eyebrow.

"Military boot camp"

"Military boot camp huh?" Heero thought about it. "Not a bad idea, not a bad idea at all…"

Treize gave a few muffled noises, signalling he wanted to say something. Rolling her eyes, Une reached over and released the gag.

"I was leader of OZ for years! I don't need military boot camp!"

"Fft… OZ…" Une snorted. "Get with the _real _military, man! Get in the dirt like a real man and fight hand-to-hand, instead of the sissy way with your robots"

"But…but…" Treize began to tear up again. "I don't wanna go to boot camp! I don't wanna! I don't wanna! I don't wanna!" SEE what I mean by Treize going OOC! -v" he whined, earning him the gag-in-mouth again.

"Military boot camp it is!" Noin agreed. The idea of Treize hitting on  Milliardo again…she shuddered…hey…where was he anyway?

"Hello? He-llo?" Milliardo called out as he (finally) came down the stairs, dressed in a smart casual white shirt and grey pants. Where was everyone? "Noin? Une? Heero?" he tried again, but no response. He wandered around, fingering the ring box in his hand. It took him forever to find it again (having previously hidden it somewhere in his sock drawer) and if Noin wasn't around, he couldn't give it to her and make their engagement official. He slipped the box into his pocket as he walked through room after room of chaotic mess- chairs and tables tipped over, plates and delicate objects smashes on the floor. His eyes widened as he saw the shattered remnants of Une's prized crystal miniatures collection on the hardwood floor. Following the path of the destruction, he finally found them in the computer lab.

"So you finally won the battle against the roses," Une looked up from the computer. "Aww… I just died!" she groaned. Milliardo looked over- she was playing Pacman…

"Er…okay then… " Milliardo looked sceptically at her. "Anyway," he sank down onto one knee again, "Noin, will you do me the honour of granting me your hand in marriage?" he asked, reaching into his pocket for the ring. Where was it? He searched all his other pockets. They weren't there either! He looked around and noticed the stupid grin Duo had plastered across his face.

"Looking for this?" he produced the ring from behind his back

"How the hell did you…? Give that back to me, you squirt!"

"Nah-uh!" Duo dodged Milliardo's grab and scuttled out of the room. Milliardo gave chase and the others soon followed.

"Oh no!" Milliardo cried. "He's headed for the toilet!"

They ran faster but Duo was a boundless ball of energy they just couldn't keep up with! They finally caught up with him in the master bathroom and ran in just in time to see him drop the ring into the toilet

"NO!!" Milliardo cried as, with a mischevious grin and a malicious glint in his eye, little Duo jammed his finger down on the flush button. Using his almost-superhuman reflexes, Milliardo dove forward and shoved his hand into the toilet bowl in an effort to rescue that precious diamond ring before it became wastage history. The last of the water trickled away and Milliardo sighed in relief as he felt the ring in his palm halfway down the pipe.

"Okay Milliardo, you managed to rescue the ring. So get your hand out of that toilet bowl and stand up!" Noin chided him. He pulled and tried to stand up, but he couldn't…he tried again… something was holding him back… like something was stuck…

"Oh shit…" he swore. "Uh Noin… I think my hand is stuck!"

A.N. Whew… 5 ½ pages…in the process of writing these 5 ½ pages I managed to lose my wallet as well… go me…

And someone tell me, is it actually physically possible to get your hand stuck down a toilet?? (I wouldn't know, having never done it myself LOL)


	16. La la la

A.N- Hiya! I swear I've got no readers anymore…-sniffs- NO! Come back! I can change!!! LOL… sorry, I'm a little high on the dramatics right now… must be that stupid cookie Stella gave me…. ANYWAY… uh yeah… sorry this chapter took so long… I have been on the often unpleasant and in-your-face journey of self-discovery lol…but I'm back and mostly self-discovered (is that just me or does that sound wrong? –raises eyebrow-) and I hope you "enjoy" this chapter... lol… =)

Chapter 16- La la la

"So…"

"Yeah…"

Heero and Milliardo were stuck together, mostly because the others had decided that it would take all of them to call in a good plumber… and there was Treize to guard and the kids to watch…and thusly Heero ended up taking care of the stuck Milliardo. Heero had taken to kicking the toilet bowl, as he found that it was a very convenient and effective way to let out his stress, and frustration.

"Heero, you reckon you could stop that?" Milliardo growled. "My hand is stuck in there!"

"And whose fault is that?" Heero answered coolly, not desisting with his kicking.

"You're hurting my hand," Milliardo pouted

"Aww poor baby," Heero said in a mocking baby voice. "Why don't you just let go of the stupid ring?"

"Cos!" Milliardo replied, looking scandalized that Heero could even think to suggest such an absurd course of action. "It's a very expensive diamond ring!"

"Oh come on Zechs you're rich! I mean, your average roll of money is bigger than your…"

"Don't even go that low," Milliardo growled. A pause. "YOU'VE LOOKED?!"

"We were stuck along Main Street, with the obvious lack of clothes. You figure it out," Heero retorted. "Not saying the view was all that pleasant though," he added as an afterthought.

"Why you…! What's that supposed to mean?!" Milliardo started towards Heero and winced as he heard a sickening crack. Obviously, being him, he had forgotten that his hand was stuck in the toilet bowl.

"Owww…" he moaned.

"Ooh… sounds like that shoulder is dislocated," Heero tried his best to hold back a snigger. "Here," he suddenly took position behind Milliardo's shoulder, "Let me pop that back in for you!" he said with an almost malicious smile, as he began to push Milliardo's shoulder joint in every which way in hopes of getting it back into its socket again.

"Ack! Get off me you loser!" Milliardo yelled struggling to throw Heero off, as Heero was still trying to relocate his shoulder.

"Hang on you ass, stop moving!" Heero still persisted with his efforts. "It worked for my broken leg so I don't see how it can't work for your stupid shoulder!"

"Well that's for you, not me you crazy bastard!" Milliardo retorted.

"I am _trying _to help you out here!" Heero told him, a hint of sarcasm in his tone.

"I don't need help! Least of all from you!"

"Fine, but you're missing out," Heero desisted, finally deciding that this wasn't worth his time to try and help this creep out.

"So…" Milliardo started as another five long minutes passed. "Do you… er… would you be my best man Heero?"

"Wha-?!" Heero looked up in surprise and accidentally cut himself with the hunting knife that he had been flipping open and closed to pass the time. "Damn you Zechs, now look at what you made me do!" he cursed, sucking his thumb as he rushed to get it under the tap.

"I didn't MAKE you do anything you know Heero, I just asked you an honest question"

"Honest my ass," Heero muttered as he nursed to his small cut.

"Yuy, we were rivals during wartime, you brought out the best in me, you taught me how to fight better, with all my heart…"

"OKAY, OKAY whatever!" Heero exclaimed. "Just don't pull that mushy 'through our adversity we have forged a bond' crap on me"

"Hehehe, knew it'd work," Milliardo sniggered to himself.

"Why did you want me to be your best man anyway?" Heero asked out of curiosity.

"Because," Milliardo took a long breath, "You have always been my greatest adversary, defeating you gave me purpose in the war. Before, I was but another soldier following his commander's orders, but you came along, and taught me there was more to fighting than merely winning the battle. As a true adversary you have pushed me to my limits as I felt I have pushed you…"

"ARGH!" Heero yelled, covering his ears with his hands. "LALALALALALALALALALALALA!" he sang loudly to try and block out Milliardo's sappy speech. "NOT LISTENING!! LALALALALALALALA!"

"I feel I owe you a lot," Milliardo continued evilly, knowing that Heero couldn't stand to listen to this kind of crap, "Knowing you has caused me to grow, and gain a better understanding of the world…"

"LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Heero kept on singing and began to kick the side of the toilet bowl again in an effort to create more noise and drown out Milliardo's sappy rambling.

Milliardo raised his voice in an effort to rise over the clanking of the porcelain bowl being kicked and Heero's off-tune singing. "AND I WOULD REALLY, REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU WERE STANDING BESIDE ME ON THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF MY LIFE BECAUSE…"

"LAAAAAAAAAALALALALALAAAAAAAAAALALALALAAAAAAAAAALALALALALALALALALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Heero was at a screeching point as he tried harder to block it out, as he plugged his ears with his hands.

"…YOU WERE THE ONE WHO MADE ME REALIZE JUST HOW IMPORTANT NOIN IS TO ME AND…"

"SHUDDUP! NOT LISTENING! LAAAAAAAALALALALALAAAAALALALALALALALALALALALALALAAAAAA!"

-Somewhere else in the house-

"What the hell is that?" Noin covered the receiver so that the plumber wouldn't have to hear that horrendous screeching and the shouting and noise.

"I don't know," Une replied, after listening for a little, "sounds like a cat caught a bird and the bird's dying, then the cat got run over as well"

"Huh…" Noin trailed off. "Are your explanations of everything always this twisted?"

"That's how I did so well in OZ!" Une beamed happily.

"Uh right… ANYWAY…" Noin turned her attention back to her plumber on the phone.

-Back in the bathroom-

"LALALA! SHUT UP! LAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

"WHY ARE YOU SO SCARED OF HEARING ALL THIS STUFF ANWAY?" Milliardo roared.

"BECAUSE…!" Heero bellowed back. He was about to reply Milliardo when they both heard a sharp _crack. _

"What… was that?" Milliardo asked cautiously.

"I…don't know…." Heero's eyes darted in every direction. Maybe their compound was under attack by terrorists, wanting his superior intelligence to take over the world or something! Then he saw the fissure in the porcelain base of the toilet bowl where he had kicked it, and as he saw the water quickly leaking out of said fissure, he realized what was about to happen.

"LOOK OUT! SHE'S GONNA BLOW!" he yelled as he shielded his head with his hands and started to run for cover. "Ugh!" he grunted as he wrestled with the doorknob. "They just HAD to lock it from the outside! What were they thinking? It's not like you're going anywhere!" he said to Milliardo. "I'll have to shoot the lock off!" he started to fumble for his gun, as the fissure got larger and more water began to gush out. They heard groans and more cracks as the porcelain began to give way under the water pressure.

"There's no time, Yuy!" Milliardo told him, urgently. "After you rescue me, I don't think there'll be enough time to shoot off the doorknob!"

"Rescue _you?!"_ Heero looked at him incredulously. "There's no time!" he frantically searched around for a place to hide. His gaze landed on the cabinet under the sink. "AH HUH!" he cried in triumph, as more and more water began pouring out. Wrenching the wooden cabinet door open, he pulled out all of the towels, and bottle after bottle of shampoo and conditioner, throwing them behind his shoulder, which was where Milliardo was stuck.

"How many freakin' bottles of shampoo and conditioner does this woman need to HAVE?!" Heero asked as he kept on throwing the shampoos and conditioners out of the cupboard, at a more frantic pace.

"And you haven't even gotten to the hairspray yet," Milliardo muttered. "OW!" he yelled a moment later, as yet another bottle landed on his head.

"There's no time!" Heero growled, frustrated, after he managed to tunnel through about half of the bottles. He dove in and managed to shut the door just as the toilet combusted into a shower of water, porcelain, and Milliardo screaming more profanities.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" Noin exclaimed as she heard a small explosion elsewhere in the house.

"Well, we're all here, "Une said slowly. "It must be Milliardo and Heero!"

Noin rolled her eyes before tearing off down the corridor. The rest (except for Treize of course) ran after her to see what was wrong.

She stopped at the toilet and took a deep breath. Already she didn't like the look or sound of it. Taking the key from the hook on the wall, she slowly unlocked the door and before she had time to react, she heard a yell of "WATCH OUT!" as a giant wave of soapsuds gushed out carrying a long haired blonde man. The wave knocked her backwards, and calmed as it lost its force. She sat up, spluttering for breath. Then she saw who was lying next to her, ring still in hand.

"Milliardo!" she cried.

"What the hell did you guys DO?!" Une yelled as she arrives at the scene of the crime.

"Well that took care of that problem," Milliardo remarked drily, wriggling his now free fingers.

"Is it safe to come out yet?" Heero peeked out from where he was hiding. Une looked inside, and saw the remnants of her precious toilet.

"My toilet!" she cried, her hands flying up to her cheeks in horror. Then she gasped as she saw the bottles on the ground, "My shampoo and conditioner!" By now she was bark raving mad. Her hands readied in a claw-like state, she advanced upon Heero, breathing heavily her nostrils flaring. If Heero hadn't known she was going to kill him, it might've looked really funny.

"Oh I'll tell you when it's safe to come out!" Une growled as she drew closer, her fingers twitching towards her prey's neck.

"Ahh!" Heero screamed, as he ducked Une's first swipe, barging through the cabinet door, breaking it. He stumbled and fell over, landing right on top of Milliardo. The soap-sudded floor made them both slide and Milliardo ended up at Noin's (very angry) feet.

"Uh Noin!" Milliardo said cheerfully, trying to charm his way out of this. He turned around. "Hi, Lady Une!"

"You are in…" Noin started. Milliardo saw his chance and swiftly put the engagement ring onto her finger before she could continue. He quickly stood up and gave her a peck on the lips.

"Remember me as a dashing brave warrior who won your heart!" he yelled as he and Heero made for the exit.

"Grrr…" Noin fumed as she watched them dash out. "Men!"

"Yay! Winter wonderland!" Duo squealed at the layers of white foam and bubbles.

"Where are we going?" Heero asked Milliardo as they ran out of the house.

"I…don't know!" Milliardo panted as he struggled to keep up with his soaking clothes. He shivered as a breath of wind blew past. "I need some new clothes…"

"We'll steal some off a clothes line somewhere," Heero told him, exasperated. The shirt he was wearing tended to go transparent when wet, as it was a light shade of grey, and Heero didn't want to see any more of _that_.

"HEERO! MILLIARDO! GET YOUR SORRY ASSES BACK HERE!" they cringed as they heard Noin's yell from down the street.

"Quickly now!" Heero whispered fiercely

"DON'T MAKE US COME DOWN THERE!"

"Let's go…" Milliardo pushed him to get him going. They jumped over a fence in search of new clothes.

"Aww, this guy only has flower- pattered muumuus!" Milliardo groaned, holding the wide cut patterned piece of material up.

"Beggars can't be choosers, so let's go!" Heero growled. Rolling his eyes, Milliardo took the muumuu off the clothesline. Heero looked back as he scaled the fence to see Milliardo pegging a $100 note to the clothesline in place of the muumuu.

"Milliardo," he hissed, "you are really missing the point here!"

"Shut up Heero," Milliardo scoffed, as he pulled the shirt over his head and pulled the muumuu on. Heero snorted.

"You look like a freakin' hippie Zechs!" he poked fun. Milliardo glared, and held up his index and middle finger in a 'peace' hand sign actually that hand sign doesn't mean peace; it means victory, but ANYWAY… .

"Peace man, turn around, oopsies, one fell down," he said menacingly, dropping his index finger, to make another hand sign altogether.

"Okay, whatever," Heero rolled his eyes as he dropped onto the other side. "Maybe we can join a hippie colony or something," he mused

"Or why not a travelling circus?" Milliardo added sarcastically. A look of thought crossed Heero's face. "I am NOT joining a travelling circus, Yuy," Milliardo growled.

"Oh fine, fine… let's not then," Heero said grumpily

"Why don't we just hang at my place for a few days?" Milliardo suggested.

"Yeah…that sounds good," Heero agreed, as they strolled off into the sunset

"Hehe! Look at me!" Duo had covered his face in white foam, and now resembled something to the effect of a white marshmallow.

"Ewwww!" Relena squealed pointing to the dark greeny/ brown sewerage that began to seep out from the blown pipes.

"Everyone, get out of there!" Noin yelled as she recognised the look, and the smell. "I really pity the plumber who has to take care of this job…"

-10 minutes later-

"There all done," he stood up and dusted off his overalls.

"Dekim?" Une asked incredulously. "Since when did you enter the plumbing business?"

"Taking over the world didn't work out for me all right?" he growled. "Can I get paid now? I've got to take care of a leaky sink somewhere"

"Here ya go," Une handed over a cheque marked with Milliardo's insignia. 'That'll learn him to blow my toilet,' she thought to herself maliciously.

"See ya then," Dekim waved goodbye as he tucked the cheque into his overall pocket, and saw himself out.

"Well that was random," Noin remarked. "Now as to where those two are…!" she began pounding her hand with her fist.

"MRRGH! MRRF RRF!" they heard muffled yells from somewhere in the house.

"Oh…" they all suddenly remembered. "Treize… what are we going to do about him?"

"HEY GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!" he yelled as they cruised along the highway in Hilde's ute, which they "borrowed". Treize was still tied in his chair, which was now secured to the back of the ute. Showing some slight grace, Une allowed his gag to be taken out. She was really beginning to regret it now.

"We're almost there!" Noin hollered as they turned off to the side, onto a side dirt road.

"WOAH!" he cried as the road got suddenly bumpier and dustier. By the time they arrived at the boot camp, Treize was covered all over in dust and dirt. He coughed the last of it out as they untied him from the ute (he was still secured to the chair though) and they dumped him at the doorstep before pressing the doorbell and running off.

"Hey!" he exclaimed as they sped away. "Don't leave me here!"

"Whew…" Noin sighed as she climbed out of the ute and made her way into Une's house, later. "That was one tiring day… one REALLY tiring day…"

She walked through the corridor, hoping to be able to draw a long relaxing bath, when she ran into Hilde, who had just woken up from a long nap.

"Uh… hi Noin," she yawned, "what's been going on while I was asleep?"

"Well…" Noin took a long breath, "Milliardo proposed to me, we found out Treize had homosexual tendencies, we found out the meaning of fag, Milliardo's hand got stuck down a toilet, Heero and Milliardo managed to blow the toilet up- without using explosives I might add, they've run off somewhere, and we've used your ute to dump Treize off at boot camp…to make it very very VERY simple…"

Hilde gave Noin a weird stare as she digested all the information, before shaking her head and heading back for the room. "I'm going back to sleep"

A.N. Wow that was random… lol hope you liked… who am I talking to? Do I still have reviewers?? Haha lol…


	17. One Thing After Another

A.N- I'm putting all my assignment work aside for this so… OH CRAP I'VE GOT A CRUMPET IN THE TOASTER… I'll be right back… )

Hi! I'm back… if you haven't picked up from earlier A.Ns or the crumpet incident mentioned up there (the crumpet now resides 'happily' in my belly) I write my A.Ns much like a running journal… its interesting looking through all the A.Ns I've written in this story and seeing how it reflected all the crap that's been happening in my life in the past year and a half (can you believe it's been THAT long since I started this thing?? LOL) ANYWAY… I'm rambling, so on with the madness! – on a side note, who exactly am I talking to?? lol-

And since doesn't let me use those horizontal 'V' things anymore (you know the ones I'm talking about) '-' and '-' will now symbolize author comments )

Chapter 17

"Can't believe my friends would do this to me," Treize sniffed, as he sat forlornly on his bottom bunk. "After all we've been through!"

"Oh stop complaining!" his bunkmate stuck his head down to tell Treize to shut up.

"Waaaah!" Treize screamed and jumped up in surprise when he saw who it was. Unfortunately his hair happened to get caught on the bedsprings, resulting in much torture of hair, agony and girlish screaming.

"Oh hold still!" Quinze scolded him as he got the last knot out. By this time, Treize looked like he was wearing a petrified cat.

"You didn't have to startle me like that!" Treize sniffed. "I've already had one huge upsetting shock for the day…what are you doing here anyway?"

"That's none of your business," Quinze remarked sharply. "I can't believe we have to share a room. _Me _share a room with _YOU_"

"I know!" Treize rolled his eyes. He whipped a bit of chalk out of nowhere. "Here is my side of the room," he said drawing a line straight down the middle of the room. "You stay on your side, okay?"

'Hey," Quinze objected, "how come you get the vanity mirror?"

"Cos I use it more than you do," Treize said snobbishly.

Before Quinze could argue back, a voice barked out over the loud speaker, "All cadets assemble in the main hall immediately!"

Grudgingly, they made their way to the main hall for their first encounter with their commander, Quinze deliberately stomping over Treize's 'line' for spite.

They fell into line, as the other cadets began pouring in. Once the hall was filled up, a heavily built Middle- Eastern man took the microphone and began to talk.

"He looks kinda familiar, don't you reckon?" Treize whispered to Quinze as he listed out the protocol, and schedule.

"Yeah… I just can't place his face…"

"No talking!" he barked at the two of them. "Now, your commander wishes to talk to you," he walked off the stage, and soon their commander arrived.

"HOLY CRAP!" Treize yelled, as he recognised the young adolescent redhead now addressing them. Everyone turned in his direction. The redhead beamed.

"Hello, father," she smiled

- Meanwhile-

"Zechs I'm hungry," Heero groaned as they reached Milliardo's very large mansion. "Dammit, did we really have to run all the way from Une's place? Like couldn't we have caught a taxi or something?"

"Are YOU going to pay for it? And I don't want anyone seeing me wearing this ridiculous thing!" he gestured at the flowered muumuu.

"Er… too late," Heero pointed behind him, and just before Milliardo could turn around he heard the flashes and the clicks of tabloid cameras. How they managed to get to his place in that short amount of time was a real mystery but right now he didn't really care. He was more concerned with what they were doing there.

"What are you losers doing here?" he growled. More camera bulbs flashed as journalists swooped in for that rare scoop. "Get out of my property RIGHT NOW!" he ordered them

"Mr. Peacecraft, why are you dressed like that? Can you confirm the rumours that you have indeed hit rock bottom and gone completely off the wall?" one tabloid journalist had the audacity to ask.

"I may be off the wall, but you'll be the first to be smeared across it if you don't move your sorry asses off my property!" he yelled in retaliation. Just at that moment, a wind decided to pick up and pick up it did- Milliardo's muumuu that is. Gasps from women's magazine columnists and more cameras went off. Heero rolled his eyes. There would be a lot of happy women once the next issue of _Gossip and Chatter _was released. And one not very happy woman, he shuddered as he thought of Noin. Shaking his fist at them one last time, Milliardo was pulled into the house by Heero.

"Damn stupid parasites," he muttered, slamming the door shut and stalking off. Heero walked in after him.

"Do you have any spare shirts Zechs? Mine's kinda wet," he asked.

"Yeah sure, just come in here and get one," Milliardo called out from his room. Heero walked in, as he started to pull his shirt over his head.

"Uh…" he stopped as he saw that Milliardo, too, was standing topless. Before either of them had time to react, a camera flash from the window blinded them both.

"What the…?!" Milliardo growled and ran to the window (Still topless). "WHY YOU…!" he was breathing fire as he caught two paparazzi photographers stationed diligently outside. Pushing past Heero, he stormed out into the back lawn and kicked both their asses to hell. "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE DAMNIT!" he yelled after them. Nostrils still flaring from residual anger, he marched back inside. He rummaged in his drawer for a little while and tossed Heero a plain black shirt.

"So what have you got for eats around here?" Heero asked, as his stomach growled.

"Whatever's in the fridge," Milliardo mentioned nonchalantly, flopping onto the bed, completely exhausted. Muttering about laziness, Heero ambled into the kitchen and having, seemingly putting his phobia of kitchens behind him, began to casually rummage through Milliardo's many fridges. He wrinkled his nose in disgust as he pulled out bowl after bowl of half-eaten instant crap, and finally chanced upon an unopened, not expired pack of frozen chips. Licking his lips at the thought of eating hot chips, he decided that yes, he could deep-fry these chips. "How's hot chips for ya, Zechs?" he hollered to the bedroom. A distinct grunt was heard, which Heero took as agreement. Filling a metal pot with oil, Heero switched up the heat to the maximum setting, and waited. Suddenly his watch beeped. "Oh crap!" he exclaimed. "Hi- 5!" Yes, those darn kids had managed to get even the Perfect Soldier hooked onto Hi-5 (however it was only so that he could ridicule their silly costumes and primal technology –wink-wink-). Rushing out to the lounge room, Heero threw himself into the huge beanbag and flipped on Zechs' high-resolution plasma TV.

"Five in the air, let's do it together…" 

About halfway through the show, Heero could smell the distinct smell of burning. 'I haven't even put the chips in yet though…" he thought to himself. "OH CRAP! THE OIL!" he yelled aloud, as he realized what was burning, and dashed to the kitchen. But he wasn't prepared for what he was confronted with. "ARGH!" he cried. "ZECHS IS GOING TO KILL ME!"

"I'm going to kill you for what, now?" Zechs magically appeared next to Heero. He looked towards the disaster zone. "Wow Yuy, you are so right… I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!"

"WAIT! How do we put it out? How do we put it out?" Heero asked, pointing to the column of fire that was coming from the pot of oil. "I know!" he had a flash of 'brilliance'. "Water puts out fire right!" he ran over to the sink (obviously he hadn't learnt his previous lesson to do with oil and water), filled a cup full of water and poured it into the oil fire. Obviously all it did was get bigger.

"No! You idiot!" Milliardo yelled at him. "You have to put more water on it!"

"Oh! Right!" Heero rushed out to the backyard for a hose.

"Meanwhile," Milliardo said to himself, "I shall attempt at blowing some of it away!" …?! Crouching slightly, he began to blow his hardest in an attempt to make the fire smaller. By now, Heero had returned with the hose. Seeing Milliardo 'blowing' the fire out, Heero decided to take some 'initiative' and go help him. Dropping the hose, Heero soon returned wielding a large Japanese ornamental fan. Taking up position behind Milliardo he began to wave the fan up and down to create a wind force to blow out the fire. However he had not foreseen that this added wind would cause Milliardo's long luxurious locks to blow forward, and yep, into the flames. A second later, Milliardo was running around the kitchen like a chook with its head cut off, screaming blue murder -I gotta wonder where they came up with that phrase…blue murder…-.

"Put it out! put it out!" he screamed, pointing to the new column of fire atop his head. Heero snorted and stood back for a little, marvelling at how much Milliardo resembled a human match. Finally moving, upon the motivation that Noin would slaughter him if Milliardo had to wear a hairpiece on their wedding day, Heero picked up the hose, switched the water supply on and sprayed at Milliardo's head.

"Milliardo! Stop moving damn you!" he growled as he kept missing because Milliardo was still running around like a chook with its head cut off. Soon the whole kitchen was soaked in water. "Stay still Milliardo!"

Whimpering, Milliardo finally stood in one spot for more than three seconds and Heero managed to put his hair out.

"How bad is it?" Milliardo asked.

"Uh…" a giant sweat drop ran down Heero's face. Milliardo's hear was now extremely short, not to mention it looked like he had just been on a fun adventure with the paper clip and light socket. -By the way, forgive any net lingo errors, I'm typing on MSN at the same time -. "That's not important now," Heero patted Milliardo on the back, hoping to spare him the awful, awful truth about his hair, "the important thing is PUTTING THAT DAMN FIRE OUT!"

"Oh yeah…" Amidst all the pain and confusion of having his hair catch alight, Milliardo had forgotten that there was a fire elsewhere that was now burning the cabinets around the stove.

"Fire extinguisher!" Heero exclaimed. Wrenching the fire extinguisher from where it was attached to the wall, he began an all-out assault on the fire. The fire flared up and hissed violently. Milliardo and Heero cowered.

"Heero," Milliardo whispered. "Somehow that fire is absorbing the energy from your attacks!"

"Zechs," Heero whispered back fiercely, "I think you've been watching too much Dragon Ball Z! Now eat this, fire!" Heero, I think by now, was going slightly boing from the smoke that was amassing in the relatively small kitchen area, and the psychological stress of the events of the past few days (car race with Zechs, getting arrested by Dorothy, a night in jail, getting bailed out by Noin, having to work for Noin, getting drunk, almost kissing Milliardo, waking up in the nude on Main Street… oh the list goes on) had finally caught up with our Perfect Soldier, and on a whim, he threw the fire extinguisher into the fire.

"You crazy bitch!" Milliardo yelled as the fire extinguisher made contact with the fire. By this time Heero was already hiding underneath the table trying to remember his Hail Marys. Milliardo quickly dove under the table as the whole room shook in explosion.

"Is it over yet?" Heero asked

"Yes!" Milliardo replied, fuming. "See! I told you! The fire absorbed your attack and charged up its own…I'll be quiet," he trailed off as Heero looked at him in a semi-death glare, semi- what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you way. Poking his head out from under said table, Heero quickly inspected the kitchen before pulling his head back in again. "We'd better call the fire brigade"

"You know," the fire officer told them after he had managed to rescue what was left of Milliardo's kitchen from total fiery carnage, "you could've just put the lid on the pot and that would've stopped the fire"

"Oh"

A.N. Haha… pointless chapter I know… once again, this was loosely based on ANOTHER incident my brother had in the kitchen (only without the burning of hair and exploding fire extinguisher etc) where he left the oil too long, it started to burn and he called the fire brigade P… ah he's so full of laughs… D… credit also has o go to him for helping me with inspiration for the craziness of this chapter )


	18. Here and There and Place In Between

A.N. Yay! Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Lol… damnit thanks to 's damn script stripping I can't use the equals sign (or 'double line thing' as Hann says it –rolls eyes- lol) anymore for my smilie faces –angry face- Actually there probably is but I don't know it yet lol…

Anyway, on with it! By the way '-'and '-' now represent me butting in lol

WARNING: this chapter could be kinda disturbing

Chapter 18- Here and There and Places in Between

"So, Yuy," Milliardo growled. "How do I look?" he asked tentatively as he emerged from the barber shop after giving the hairdresser the improbable task of salvaging what they could of his burnt out hair. Heero got his ridiculing laugh ready and turned around to face him. His eyes widened in surprise.

"It's actually not all that bad," Heero told him truthfully.

"Really?" Milliardo asked eagerly, turning around to stare at his reflection in the glass. He now sported a shorter, neater haircut and didn't so much look like such a girl or a stoner or, Heero snorted at the thought, if you stretched the imagination a bit, a hippie.

"Cool!" he beamed. He whipped out his wallet and searched through all the photos that he kept in there, taking the one of Vash the Stampede out, holding it up next to his face, studying the reflection closely. "I look like Vash the Stampede with shorter hair!" he exclaimed, stars lighting up his eyes, at the prospect of resembling his anime hero – did I mention these characters go VERY OOC lol-

"Yeah," Heero grunted, punching Milliardo to the head to jerk him out of dreamland, "you wish!" He rolled his eyes.

"I do though!" Milliardo protested, getting up with a huge lump on his head. Heero started walking and Milliardo chased after him, still trying to point out the 'similarities' between him and Vash. "See!" he pointed to the photo. "Vash has a bit of fringe hanging down and so do I! Vash's hair is spiked up and so is mine…well only my hair is shorter! Vash's hair is blonde and so is mine!"

"Yeah?" Heero snapped back as he walked faster in an effort to lose Milliardo. "Well Vash is cool and you're not!"

"Hey!" Milliardo yelled out resentfully. "Oh look!" he got excited as he spotted someone coming down the street. "Look who it is!"

"Who is it?" Heero called out over his shoulder. "Vash?" he asked sarcastically. As he wasn't looking where he was going, he accidentally bumped into someone. He turned around and started to apologise. "Oh I'm so- aaaaaaaaaaiy!" he screamed as he saw who it was he had bumped into. "It's Noin!" he pointed at her in fright. "Demon lady! Mercy help us, the end is here! Run for your lives!" he ran away with his arms flapping and ducked into a side alley behind a garbage bin.

Milliardo chuckled to think that his fiancé could now scare the crap out of his mortal nemesis.

"How's my little sweetie doing today?" he asked suavely, placing his arm neatly around Noin's waist.

"Why you perverted…!" she breathed fire and with some quick, efficient judo technique, threw him into the garbage can that Heero was hiding behind.

"But Noin!" Milliardo stuck his head out of the garbage can, after she had cooled down a little, a week-old banana skin taking happy residence on top of his head. "Noin, honey, it's me!"

"Huh?" she squinted as she strained to see better. "Milliardo?" she exclaimed. "You got a haircut?!"

"Er…yeah…" he climbed out of the garbage can, flushing red at getting strange stares from members of the public.

"What happened?" she breathed.

Milliardo and Heero glanced at each other. "Long story," they said simultaneously.

--

"Mariemaia! What are you doing here?" Treize demanded. "As your father, I feel the responsibility to put an immediate end to this violence!"

"Dad," Mariemaia sighed, "shut up and do the push ups okay?"

Grumbling under his breath, Treize got into push-up position.

"Not sissy push-ups!" Mariemaia yelled, as Treize bent his knees. "Straight as a board, cadet!"

"But honey…" Treize pleaded.

"Commander," she corrected him. "Don't you 'honey' me! You have 10 years of abandonment and neglect to make up to me!"

"But darling, I was out conquering the world! I had a career you know! In these modern times, dads aren't as common or successful!"

"That's no excuse, dad! I was out conquering the world too and I made time for family! Now 10 push-ups for every year of neglect!" she sniggered. This was kinda fun…"One!" she started counting as Treize attempted at a push-up. "One!" she started again as he buckled. "One!"

"Can't I do something else instead?" he pleaded one more time, as he desperately tried to do one push up.

"Hmm…" Mariemaia smiled, as she considered all the endless opportunities.

"Mariemaia! This is just evil!" Treize howled ten minutes later, as he was scrubbing the bathroom floor with a toothbrush, wearing an ecchi maid's costume. "And where did you get this outfit from anyway?!" he demanded.

"Mum's closet!" she gloated. Treize's face froze, and a giant sweatdrop ran down his forehead.

"Treize? Treize?" A familiar voice echoed down the hallway. "Yo Treize, don't be ashamed! Come on, we came all this way to visit you!"

"Yeah!" a female voice chimed in. "Come on!"

"Ack!" Treize screamed. "It's Milliardo and Noin!"

"I don't see why we bother," a monotonous, baritone voice joined in the conversation. "He's obviously having soooo much fun here," his voice took on a sarcastic tone.

"And Heero!" Treize hid behind Mariemaia, quivering in his dainty black lace maid slippers.

"Uncle Treize! Uncle Treize!" a small high-pitched voice called his name again and again.

"They brought the kids?!?!" he gasped. "Oh no!" he cried. "They can't see me in this!"

An evil glint appeared in Mariemaia's eye, and she opened her mouth to call out to them.

"Oh no!" Treize exclaimed. "You wouldn't dare!"

"Noin! Milliardo! Heero! We're in here!" she hollered. "Leave the kids outside!" she winked at her father. She decided she'd cut him some slack after all.

"Oh, okay then!" Noin responded. A minute later, they burst through the door to find Treize, still in the maid's outfit, cowering behind Noin.

"What the hell?" Milliardo growled.

"Well you see…" Mariemaia started to explain but was cut off by Noin's loud laughs.

"Oh Mariemaia!" she giggled. "You are so damn evil!"

"Huh?" Mariemaia really thought that Noin was going to blast her that time.

"High five!" Noin yelled, putting up her right hand. Mariemaia high-fived and they both started laughing. When they finally got over it, Mariemaia looked up at Milliardo and started rolling on the floor in laughter again.

"Milliardo!" she giggled. "What did you do to your hair?"

"Shut up," he growled, eyebrow twitching furiously. Heero shook his head and, deciding he'd seen enough disturbing sights for one day, turned around to check on the kids.

"Duo!" he yelled. Duo looked up for a minute from where he sat, next to the power plug, before jamming the paper clip in. Immediately many, many sparks started to fly out before they all heard a small explosion somewhere and all the lights suddenly blanked out.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" all the kids started screaming and running around (except Trowa) because they were scared of the dark. As Trowa was the only stationary one, they all ended up running into Trowa anyway and ended up in a big kiddie heap on the floor, Trowa at the bottom, looking kinda pissed off. Duo was still sitting by the power plug, the power plug was melted and Duo's face was black from all the spark residue.

"Ooh…" he tottered a bit, "pretty, pretty colours!"

"Duo!" Noin exclaimed, running over to steady the tot while Milliardo and Heero untangled the heap of toddlers on the floor.

"We have a code blue! Code blue!" Mariemaia repeated into her walkie talkie. "What is our status?"

A crackled voice on the other side of the line answered, "Half the base is blacked out ma'am! Whatever it was tripped out the circuit breaker!"

"Damn," she swore. "Duo, do you realize how long and costly is it going to be to replace half the lights in this base! Not to mention the immense and largely inconvenient interruption this will be to the schedule!"

"Pretty, pretty lights…" Duo muttered, still in a daze.

"Oh, just go…" Mariemaia snapped, as she went into damage control, getting call after call about their communications system being down etc.

"Are you sure Duo shouldn't stay here?" Noin offered. "Help out around here to make up for the trouble he's caused you?"

Mariemaia's face blanched for a moment. "NO!" she yelled. "Just GO!" she pleaded them, pushing them out the door.

"Uh… bye Treize… nice catching up…" Milliardo called over his shoulder as Mariemaia practically pushed them out the door.

"NOOOOOOO! Milliardo don't leave me here!" Treize howled, as he knelt on the floor of the bathroom, reaching out for Milliardo.

Milliardo shuddered. "It's like some kinky fantasy…would be cool if it wasn't Trei- OW!" he howled in pain as Noin stomped viciously on his foot.

Heero, who got stuck carrying the still bewildered Duo was having heaps of "fun" trying to convince Duo that no, the pretty pretty lights did not exist and were not there to be his fairy friends.

After they all loaded into Noin's 4WD, Milliardo ventured, "So, darling, where are we going now?"

"Dress shopping!" she replied sharply. Milliardo almost lost control of the wheel in surprise.

"Dress shopping?" he asked tentatively. If Noin didn't know any better, she thought she saw a glint of….hold that thought… _fear _in Milliardo's eyes.

"Yes honey," she continued. "If you haven't forgotten by now," she rolled her eyes, "we are engaged!" she told him, flashing her ring in front of Milliardo's stunned, bewildered face.

"Yes… yes… but," he spluttered. "…so soon?"

"Oh there's so much to organise!" Noin clasped her hands together and a look of starry-eyed dreaming and fascination overtook her facial features, as she dreamed no doubt of her fairy tale wedding. "Venue… date…time… dress…oh my goodness! Bridesmaids! Shoes!" she cried. Milliardo shuddered at the idea of shoe shopping. Somehow, he failed to see the point, and fun factor in going into a random shoe shop, chatting with a stranger for half an hour about how much you hate your feet before choosing a single pair of shoes after an hour of deliberation, then deliberating for another hour as to whether your feet "look fat in it" and FINALLY choosing to walk out of the store buying nada, nothing and hopping into the next store starting the whole process again.

"Milliardo?" Noin shook him. "The lights are green!"

"Oh!" he jolted out of his shoe-shopping-bashing thoughts and floored the accelerator.

"Well it's too bad anyway," Noin declared. "Even if you don't want to come shopping, you're going to have to. I've already made an appointment with the designer who's making my dress, and I've cleared your schedule for today and tomorrow and told the boys at work you're taking a few days off and to not bug you. And," she declared, "as a final precaution I have disabled your pager and your mobile phone," she smiled evilly, waving his mobile and his pager in his face.

"Are all women this pushy?!?!" Milliardo whispered fiercely to Heero.

"I heard that!" she said, giving Milliardo a good bonk on the head.

"No, I think it's just her," Heero whispered back.

"And that!"

Heero got a bonk on the head too. "Ow…" he rubbed his sore head. "way to pick a woman Zechs," he complained, earning himself another bonk on the head. "Do you HAVE to do that?" he asked her, his hands twitching dangerously near his gun.

Without looking back, Noin called out, "Don't even think it. I've already disabled the trigger while you weren't looking"

'Does that woman know everything?!?!' Heero thought, getting slightly creeped out by how much she could tell.

--

"Here we are," Milliardo grumbled, as he pulled up outside the designer's shop. "Let's just get the dress and go!"

"It's not that simple Milliardo!" she complained at his simplistic way of thinking, as she got out of the car. "They have take measurements! And cater to my design criteria! After all it's not every day I get married!" she laughed as she entered the store.

"Measurements?" Milliardo squeaked.

"Yes Milliardo… measurements," Noin stuck her head out to reply.

'Does she have supersonic hearing as well?!?!' Heero thought as he walked in after Zechs. Immediately, as he walked in, he was overcome by an overpowering stench. Retching away to try and get it out of his system, he wondered what kind of gas it could be. Was it a new type of nerve gas that a new evil agency had developed to overpower him in their efforts to take over the world? If it was, then they had picked the right time- when he was off-guard… very tactical.

"Oh guys stop it," Noin snapped. "It's _Perfection _by…" she went off to list some fancy perfume company, disappearing behind the velvet curtain to get her measurements done.

Five minutes later, her and a tall, thin blonde woman re-emerged from behind the curtain, discussing wedding dress options.

"Oh yes… of course I'll need that push up bra…!" Noin exclaimed, "and you know I want the dress made mostly from silk right?"

"Silk and chiffon?" the tall blonde one suggested.

"Yes! Yes!" Noin clapped her hands in delight. "Of course you'll be paid in advance for the materials, and labour costs and…"

"Noin? How much is this going to cost me? Noin?" Milliardo tried in vain to gain the attention of his fiancée, as she chatted on about the 'necessities' of life. He went crazy after he heard the words "Milliardo", "no credit limit" and "credit card".

"NOIN! TELLMEWHATTHEHELLISGOINGONRIGHTNOW!" he yelled, unable to stand it anymore.

"So…anyway…" Noin and the tall blonde lady made their way into the back room.

"Ohhh…" Milliardo sighed, sinking down into a chair nearby, tears streaming down his face, "This is so complex! What do I do? What do I do Heero?" he cried, grabbing onto Heero's shoulders and shaking them as if being able to shake an answer out of him.

"Uh…" Heero was definitely feeling very, very awkward by now. "There, there?" he slowly put his arm around Milliardo's shoulder and patted it slowly, uncomfortable because he had never had another guy (or girl for that matter) crying on his shoulder and had no frickin' clue what to do. "WHA…!" he snapped out of it suddenly, as he realized he was comforting his mortal nemesis, on his shoulder, and shoved Zechs off, dashing to the other side of the room. He sighed as he saw Milliardo's puppy dog eyes. Throughout the term of this ordeal… what had it been… a week? Three weeks…maybe? The trme 'mortal nemesis had worn thin and Heero found himself not caring anymore. Sitting down next to Milliardo, he quickly searched his military programmed brain for some words of comfort. "Uh…" he started to say something but was interrupted by the loud honking noise of a rather large car, by the sounds of it nad people all over the sidewalk shrieking bloody murder.

"What was that?!" they both jolted simultaneously and ran outside.

Milliardo fell into a dead faint as he saw his new 4WD (four wheel drive) careering down the road, going every which way. Leaving him by the side of the road, Heero ran after it- who was driving the damn thing?

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! HEHEHEHEHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

'That baka left the kids in the car?! WITH THE IGNITION ON?!' Heero thought a she whipped out his Glock-17 to attempt to shoot the tyres

"NOO!" Milliardo (who had magically revived himself…or something) attacked Heero from behind and held him in a tight bear hug. "DON'T! DON'T SHOOT MY PRECIOUS CAR!"

"WHAT THE HELL ZECHS?! GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Heero tried desperately to shake him off. "THOSE KIDS ARE GOING TO GET THEMSELVES KILLED! AND I THINK THAT'S WORTH A LITTLE MORE THAN YOUR TYRE!"

"Ooh… someone sounds like he _cares_…" Milliardo teased.

"Huh?" Heero stopped for a moment, blushing slightly. "What are you talking about you uber-moron?!?!"

"Oh you blushed! You actually do care!" Milliardo continued to tease him playfully. "You blushed, you blushed, you blushed!" he giggled, pointing at Heero. Heero sighed, and readied his gun at Milliardo's head.

"Say that again?" he growled.

"Fine…" Milliardo let go of Heero, and stood up properly, brushing himself off. "So what do we do now?" he asked, as he looked at his 4WD still causing more havoc down the road. Without saying another word, Heero took off down the road after the runaway car. Shaking his head, Milliardo followed suit soon after. Thanks to their superhuman speed (them being Gundam pilots and all) they managed to catch up to the car relatively easily. Somehow Duo had managed to keep the car (relatively) on the road. And how was he working the accelerator and brake? Heero had a good guess that it was probably a couple of the other chibis stuck down there operating it. Thinking quickly (and not very rashly) Heero lunged for the ski rack on the roof of the car, and (very barely) made it, hanging onto it with one hand for dear sweet life.

Milliardo suddenly decided he'd do the same, and also managed to get a hold of the ski rack, almost knocking Heero off.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!" Heero yelled at him. "TRYING TO GET ME KILLED?!"

"OH SHUT UP AND SAVE THE CAR!" Milliardo retorted

"OH IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT THE CA…. AAAAAAAH!" Heero's return ended in a short scream as he realized what was ahead.

The ocean loomed before them.

A.N. Yes, lame ending I know…--" sorry about long wait…(once again)… had to sort out a lot of crap… to do with formal and stuff… -sighs- formal is so stupid… but I'm going with one of my favourite people in the whole world and my best friend (both guys) so life is all good…. Hehe…

Also got School Certificate coming up…. So annoying… not sure what you call it in wherever you're reading this, but its like the Year 10 leaving exam kinda thing…


	19. Confession Atop A Rooftop!

A.N. BOOM! And I'm back, baby! Wow, I haven't updated for like 6 months….does anyone even care anymore? (Truth be told I don't really, but I'm bored and I just got a little inspiration for it, so why not try to revive a dead thing just for the hell of it lol)

Anyways, we last left Milliardo and Heero careering towards the ocean on top of a 4-wheel-drive full of kids while Noin went bridal shopping… and thusly begins..

Chapter 19 (wow can you believe I've written this much? I can't!)- Confession Atop A Rooftop!

"Milliardo, forget your stupid car! We have to save our asses! And those kids!" Heero yelled. Not waiting for a response, he took aim at the tyre closest to him and fired. "SHIT!" he cursed as the car took a dangerous dip in his direction, almost throwing him off.

"Haha, really smart move Heero," Milliardo cackled, laughing at Heero's "stupidity". Smirking, Heero fired at the wheel under Milliardo, almost throwing him off too.

"You crazybastaaard !" Milliardo shrieked. "Ach!" he shielded his face, as sparks started to fly from the hubcaps as they grinded against the rough asphalt.

"Ooh…!" Duo plastered his face against the window as he caught sight of the sparks flying. "Pretty, pretty colours! Hey!" he noticed that Heero and Milliardo were hanging off the side. "Hello Uncle Heero!" he took both hands off the steering wheel to wave at him as he fully pressed his face against the window to make that puffer-fish face look.

"ACK! My windows! Don't do that Duo!" Milliardo yelled at him, worried about his windows, obviously not seeing the bigger picture.

"Oh SHUT UP MILLIARDO!" Heero growled, having had it with Milliardo's obsession with his damn stupid car.

"Waaaaaaa!" the heard a wail from the seat and Milliardo looked in to see Relena in the back seat bawling her poor little eyes out.

"Oh my poor dear sister! Let me get to her!" he tried to claw his way to the front, almost shoving Heero off AGAIN. "Get lost Heero!" he yelled

"Hey I love your sister too!" Heero yelled, then going immensely red as he realized what he had just blurted out.

"Ha HA!" Milliardo yelled in triumph and was about to say something else, probably going to tease Heero about his little confession of love but was cut short as the car plunged over the jetty and into the ocean. (I can't believe they didn't think of that earlier!). "Aaaaaaaaaah!" he screamed as they plunged into deep water.

Working quickly, while Milliardo battled the monstrous seaweed, Heero shot the lock off the front door and quickly wrenched Duo away from the steering wheel, throwing him to Milliardo (still battling against the monstrous seaweed). Then he could see that Quatre and Wufei were operating the pedals. Resisting rescue, Wufei swum up to the surface himself while Quatre and Relena hung onto Heero for dear sweet life, giving Heero an interesting dilemma. Struggling with all his might, he managed to surface in the harbour, those two still gripped tightly onto his arms. Later, he knew, there would probably be a lot of bruises there. Milliardo was floating nearby, having given up on trying to detangle himself from the seaweed, as it only ensnared him even more. Whimpering, Relena slowly opened her eyes and screamed as she saw her brother, firstly with short hair, and secondly draped all over in seaweed. "SEA MONSTER!" she cried, gripping even tighter onto Heero's arm. Heero winced as he swore he heard a crack somewhere.

"Relena honey…" Milliardo spluttered, "ah splue splaa puek!" he choked as he choked on the seaweed which was draped over his face, scaring her even more.

"Oh stop it Milliardo!" Heero rolled his eyes, as her grip got even tighter. Damnit if only she showed this much strength during the war…

"Ooh, is it cos u luuuuuuuuuuuuuurve her?" Milliardo jabbed at him playfully.

Heero went a dark, dark crimson before picking up a pile of seaweed floating nearby and slinging it at Milliardo's face, hitting dead on.

"Why you little…!"

"Hey…" Heero noticed something while Milliardo was busy formulating the perfect seaweed missile. "Where's Trowa!"

"SHIT!" Milliardo dropped his missile, and dove underwater. He quickly swam down to his (still) sinking car, and, struggling with the door and finally managing to open it, quickly searched around inside… his eyes widened in shock and surprise as he realized that Trowa wasn't there. He choked as he realized that the air in his lungs was quickly dispensing, and he had not much time left before he drowned.

"Ach!" he cried, trying his hardest to twist the door open. "Damn this child lock!" he thought. "Argh I'm going to die in may car!"

-- Back on land--

"Trowa…where did everyone go?" Noin asked the small boy as she tottered out of the store, laden with many, many boutique bags full of luscious materials and rich surprises. Without saying anything, Trowa simply pointed out to the bay, where Noin could make out four little blobs floating in the water.

Rolling her eyes, Noin sighed as she started to sprint down the road. "I swear I always have to do this"

Heero waited for Milliardo to surface. When, after a while, he didn't, he began to…. No… worry about him!

Sighing, he shook Quatre and Relena off onto the bed of seaweed, and dove in after Milliardo.

Thanks to his powerful, powerful well toned calf muscles, Heero caught up to the car and saw Milliardo inside, frantically trying to escape. Seeing his hope and salvation (Heero) headed for him, he began to hit the windows with his palms desperately, mouthing "Heero! Help me!" As the 4-wheel drive started to sink at a more rapid rate, Milliardo became even more frantic. "Nooo! Heero!"

Heero shuddered… the scene from Titanic came to mind.

_You're here, there's nothing I fear and I know that my heart will go on…!_

"Heero, save me!"

_We'll stay forever this way, you are safe in my heart and my heart will…_

"I'm coming Milliardo!"

_Go on and on!_

He finally caught up to the car and released the door from the outside. Desperate for air, Milliardo quickly swam out of the car, and used Heero's head as a kind of launching pad to propel him to the surface, pushing Heero down.

"Mrrrmfh!" Heero gurgled in protest, instinctively grabbing onto Milliardo's leg to pull himself up again. Milliardo responded with a well-placed kick to his face and continued to push upwards.

Three minutes later they both broke the surface of the water to be greeted by most of the public, the paparazzi and worst of all, a scowling Noin.

Milliardo, wearing his designer outfit, made of heavy and luxurious material was getting waterlogged, unlike Heero whose green singlet and black spandex pants gave his plenty of manoeuvrability. Milliardo clung onto Heero for dear life.

"ZECHS! Get OFF ME!" Heero yelled as Milliardo began to drag him under again

"No! I must live!" Milliardo struggled and clung on to Heero even tighter, making the tabloid camera shutters go off at double speed.

"Milliardo! Off! Now!" Heero growled

"Oh yeah? Make me!" Milliardo challenged back. Heero grabbed a pile of seaweed threateningly. In retaliation, Milliardo grabbed his own pile.

"I dare you," Heero challenged.

Noin rolled her eyes. "Ahem"

Heero and Milliardo turned around slowly, handfuls of seaweed at the ready.

"Ehehehe…" sweatdrops ran down both their faces, as they realised they would soon meet their doom a la Noin.

"Hey Noin?"

A.N. Yeah another pointless chapter for anyone who is actually bothering to read this…. Which I'm guessing is like…no one –dies- Oh well it was worth a try


	20. The Aftermath

A.N. VERY OOC and VERY STUPID. Just a warning XD

Chapter 20 – The Aftermath

"What were you _thinking_!" Noin screeched. "No, wait, hold that thought… were you _even_ thinking!"

Heero and Milliardo sat deadly still in total silence, not daring to say a word. They both knew the real reason that Noin was so piissed off. It wasn't the fact that they had wrecked her SUV (to put it mildly), nor that the bridal fabric she had purchased had been thoughtlessly, yet admittedly resourcefully, used by Duo to dry himself off after he got out, nor that she broken a heel of her very expensive shoes running down to the water's edge, and had to walk to the police station, or indeed, that she had to walk to the police station. But rather, the answer was right before their very eyes.

"HEERO AND MILLIARDO – THE LOVER'S TRYST?" screamed one tabloid headline.

"A WET EMBRACE", boasted another, the innuendo so tacky and obvious that it made them both wince when they saw it. Well it got its point across. All of the magazines sported the same picture of Heero surfacing with Milliardo, in each other's arms. Well as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words.

"How can you do this to me?" Noin was positively breathing fire by now. "I mean, when you were taking over the world, fine! I could understand that! At least then we'd have some security or a safety net for our kids! But this! Now it's assumed that I'm marrying a gay man, and everyone will look at our marriage as a sham. The beautiful memories of the day will be marred forever! Marred!"

"Y'know Noin… you really got nothing to worry about in that department…" Milliardo started.

"Don't you even start! What the hell am I supposed to tell everyone now? I mean… first it was Main Street, and THAT debacle… now… now this….!" She started breathing heavily out of rage, and had to sit down as she started hyperventilating. "I need…to… lie down for a while… you….annoying… insensitive…." And with that she started down the corridor. Milliardo sighed and sat back down with his head in his hands. "It's all your fault, Yuy!"

"My fault!" Heero retorted "How is this my fault?"

"Well…" Milliardo was thinking quickly. "If you weren't a guy, then this wouldn't have happened! Hah!"

"Genius," Heero muttered sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "So it's true what they say about blondes…"

"Hey, you shut up –"

Milliardo was promptly interrupted by an audible thud from down the corridor that Noin had just disappeared down.

"Noin!" he cried and dashed towards where the sound was coming from. Rolling his eyes again, Heero reluctantly followed after him in case something actually DID happen to Noin.

He found Milliardo frantic, over Noin's limp body. "Omigod, omigod, she's dead! She's deaaaaaaad! My poor sweet Noin!" he wailed.

"Oh shut up, you big girl," Heero said, kneeling beside her and finding a faint pulse in her wrist. "She's still alive, she just fainted. Probably from the stress and the hyperventilating and what not…"

Milliardo squealed again and took Noin by the shoulders. "Noin.. Noin! Wake up! It's me!"

"Kiss her, o knight in shining armour, and break the evil spell," Heero suggested sarcastically. "I was kidding!" he told him harshly, a second later as Milliardo leaned in to kiss her.

A sweatdrop appeared on Milliardo's forehead. "I knew that"…

"We need to get her to the hospital… just in case," Heero reached for the phone.

"No, don't" Milliardo stopped him. "I don't want any attention drawn to this…they'll think I killed her!"

"Yeah… that's totally it," Heero rolled his eyes, but, respecting Milliardo's wishes regarding his fiancée, he picked Noin up and proceeded to take her outside to the car.

"What are we going to use to drive there anyway? I mean… we DID sink Noin's car.."

Heero's question was answered a moment later, as he opened the garage door, and almost dropped Noin in shock. "THAT is our car!"

"Yeah, yeah…" Milliardo appeared behind him. "it was the only thing I could get on really short notice. Well until they fish what's left of the car out of the harbour anyway…"

'It' referred to the 1989 bomb that was falling apart at the wheels that sat before them.

"Are you sure we're even going to get to the hospital in this?" Heero asked as he lay Noin in the back seat.

"We can always try." Milliardo got into the passenger side of the car, and pressed the automatic garage door button. Even before the door had completely wound up, Milliardo could see and feel the paparazzi gathering outside. Again. Heero quickly got into the driver's seat and slammed down the accelerator. Giving an almighty whine of protest, the car spluttered before reluctantly coming to life. Journalists and photographers quickly jumped out of the way of the rust monster quickly ascending upon them and Heero and Milliardo were free. For now.

"Faster!" Milliardo urged Heero as they raced down the freeway towards the hospital.

"I can't, I'm already going over the speed limit!" Heero yelled.

"Since when did you care about the law?" Milliardo retorted.

"Ohshiiit !" Heero swore as he heard the inevitable wail of the police siren that followed the red and blue flashing lights.

"Keep going, keep going!" Milliardo told him frantically as the police car neared them. Resisting the urge for another police chase, and calculating that their car probably couldn't handle it anyway, Heero pulled over.

"Sir," the police officer said, as he leaned through the window. "Do you realise that you are travelling dangerously over the speed limit…? Hey! It's you two! Milliardo and Heero!" his tone changed as he realised who they were.

"Yeah… what about it?" Heero grunted.

"Is it true?" He asked. "Are you really….?"

"Is it any of your business?" Milliardo growled.

The police officer chose to ignore the question. "Tell you what guys… I'll let you off… if you kiss each other… just to prove you're gay!"

Milliardo and Heero looked at each other. "Not gonna happen," Heero stated what they were both thinking.

"Well then," the police officer replied tritely. "I'm going to need your licence and registration details and I will have to fine you for speeding"

"Licence?" Heero's face blanked as he remembered that his licence had been revoked three years earlier after another dangerous high-speed chase that involved Duo stealing his pink fluffy bunny and speeding off… and that was too much information.

Before Milliardo could say or do anything, Heero made a rash decision.

Their lips met in a symphony of disgusted horror, and the gut-wrenching moment seemed to last a lifetime as their lips touched and danced the eternal dance of I-will-kick-your-fucking-ass-after-this-is-over.

Without waiting for the policeman's reaction, Heero floored the pedal and sped off again.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" Milliardo yelled in disgust while trying to wipe the "Heero germs" off. "Blegh!" he spat out some more. "What the hell is wrong with you!"

"Yeah it was no joy ride for me either…" Heero told him "But my licence got revoked three years back, and I didn't feel like going to jail again…"

"But to KISS ME! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!" Milliardo shrieked. A look of knowing dawned on his face. "OH… I see now! You really ARE gay! You're secretly attracted to me, aren't you? AREN'T YOU!"

Heero sighed, and with one swift move, Milliardo was out cold, his head leaning on the dashboard.

Finally, the car trundled over the hill and towards the hospital. Heero couldn't believe that the car had survived this long. Of course, just thinking that automatically jinxed it, and the car obviously broke down, with a shuddering halt.

"No!" he yelled in frustration, slamming the horn with his fist in frustration, causing it to emit an indignant, loud honking sound, which startled Milliardo out of his stupor.

"Wha…? What's going on? Huh?" he wondered, just coming out of his blurry haze to be greeted by a slap over the head by Heero. "Ow!" he exclaimed. "What was that for?"

"Get out and help me push the car," he ordered, as he took position behind the car and started to push.

10 minutes later, they finally managed to push their car to the front of the hospital. Being the lazy asses that they were, and seeing as how Noin required cough urgent coughcough medical attention, they both took it upon themselves to take her into the hospital, and conveniently left the car in the ambulance bay.

"Hi," Milliardo greeted the receptionist, then scowled as he saw that she was reading one of the same trashy magazines that Noin had blown up at them about earlier that morning, "My name is Milliardo Peacecraft, and my FEMALE fiancée Lucrezia Noin fainted about an hour ago. My SEXUALLY UNATTRACTIVE ARCH NEMESIS is with her in the lounge," he told her, choosing to emphasise the important parts.

"Right sir," the receptionist took on an air of improvised professionalism. "I'll ring for a doctor right away"

Back in the lounge, Heero was feeling very awkward, still standing, holding Noin in the hero-rescuing-damsel way, which he knew, had Noin been awake, would NOT be the case, as it would be Heero-getting-his-ass-kicked.

Suddenly the thought struck him. "Oh shyt. What happened to the kids!"

--

Duo awoke to the sound of Wufei snoring, and promptly gave him a pillow to the face.

"What? Huh? DISHONOUR!" Wufei's automatic reaction kicked in, slamming his pillow into Duo's stomach. Duo fell backwards, accidentally stepping into Trowa's face. Trowa sat up in alert, and caused Duo to go crashing to the ground.

"Ow…. This game's not fun anymore…" he whined. "I know! Let's play Cowboys and Injuns!" his face lit up at his latest, greatest idea, and he took it upon himself to stir the rest of the napping chibis into joining his latest master scheme.

--

Noin was resting in a room. She had since woken and sworn bloody, wrathful revenge on both Heero and Milliardo, but resentfully obeyed the doctors' orders and stayed quiet, agreeing to stay for the night for observation.

"Well we dodged that bullet," Milliardo breathed a sigh of relief as they walked out.

"Yes Milliardo. Now we have to find a way of getting home, seeing as they've just towed away our car… AND I just remembered that we left the kids by themselves!" Heero ranted.

"Oh, it's fine, they're asleep anyway," Milliardo dismissed it nonchalantly.

"Milliardo. It's Duo we're talking about here"

"Hmm, you're right…we should get back…but how?"

-- One dodgy hitchhiking trip with a really seedy old trucker later --

"Phew we're finally home… I thought that old guy would never stop," Milliardo complained.

"Don't relax yet, I see people at the door," Heero warned him.

As they got closer, they realised that the people at the door were dressed too respectably for paparazzi journalists, and were a lot more proper and polite in their behaviour.

"Mr Peacecraft, Mr Yuy," the lady stepped forward and greeted them with a handshake. "I am Agent Takinawa and this is my partner Agent Todd," she said, signalling to the man behind her. "We are from the Child Protection Services. We've been waiting all morning, but got no reply at the door"

"Child Protection?" Milliardo exclaimed. "But why?"

"It has come to our attention that you have four minors in your care – or lack thereof – and the state is concerned for their wellbeing," she replied smoothly. Her smug tone and arrogant insinuations made Heero want to deck her.

Milliardo sighed. "Fine, come in"

He opened the door to be greeted with the smell of burning paper. "What the hell is that?" he cried. Heero pushed past him, and battled through the smoke, finally finding the source of the smoke, and, as predicted, where the kids were – in Milliardo's office. He looked at the table and swore. Milliardo would be hellannoyed about this one.

"Duo!" he yelled at the small figure dancing around said fire wearing nothing but his underwear. He looked around some more and saw the other chibis, who were once again, dragged into Duo's insanity. "Duo! What are you doing!" he wrenched him down from the table, and ran into the adjoining bathroom, using a bucket he'd filled with water to put out the fire.

"Hoo ya hi ya hoo ya hi yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Duo let out an almighty war cry. "Why'd you do that for? We were playing Cowboys and Injuns"


End file.
